Boy Kampai

tsk tsk tsk

2006-12-10T17:55:00.000+08:00

torture the house lizard a.k.a. Hemidactylus frenatus is scientific speak for "this m*therf*cker craps on my bed and needs to die"

i'm thinking of chopping it's head off, with a dull cutter. but i heard them body's gonna grow out of severed head. very clever f*cker. but i figured, once said head is removed, i put glue on neck area. so body shan't grow. 1 point!

i must say though, house lizard crap's kinda artistic. like an exclamation point. something fido dido might poop out.

**

i have also rekindled a love for oyster. crassostrea gigas which might be latin for "squishy mulch inside weird shaped shell, that makes pearl"

i'm a fan of oyster specially if it's smothered in butter, served on a platter, drinking with a girl friend. and i'm paying. that's gotta be something.

**

new coke commercial, trippy. it's this fantastical, colorful depcition of what happens inside a coke vending machine. so i figured, hmm.. germs and little weird things, probably icky and dangerous, crawl all over my coke before it's served. AND! i have never met a vending machine that dispenses coke bottles. only cans.

**

absolut raspberry tastes like robitussin. like bad red wine. i make a face each sip of it. but good buzz. so can't complain.

**

enjoying my new callcenter gig. pays well. nice office. motiff is zigzag grey and violet cubicle. with overcomplicated but well crafted ergonomic chair. i want one in front of the dvd player.

**

can't say the same for my boss though. boss is this 7 foot unshaved fairy stuffed in a 5 foot sack who wears heels and men's clothes. sometimes a scarf would accent his hideousness. his accent is loathesome. spews out really corny one liners. who goes by the name virginia fl*wers. wow! in a bad way

**

that's it. i digress.

the case of the perpetual Atl+F4

2006-10-21T01:24:00.000+08:00

sometimes i write a lot of things down, thoughts, ideas, lines, words and somewhere in the middle i just look at them and fear the idea of not arriving at a point. so i press Atl+F4. and never save them.

i guess that pretty much sums up where my life is right now.

it's sad.

**

but that's good right? it only means i'm not setting myself up for any future goals, thus no expectations, no worries, no failures. bahala na si (insert favorite superhero here, except Zsazsa Saturnahh)

**

i'll worry about it tomorrow

**

money. that's my main problem right now. earning money. specially since Christmas is just a few passouts away. and i'd really like to get my friends good gifts this year.

**

and in the blink of an eye, it's 2007. wow

**

oh and by the way, i just recently caught a music video of one of my favorite sandwich songs, DVD-X. pinoy music video have really come a long way. it's a simple video. band members with their instruments. all dolled up in tux. set up in what i think is a sewage system or boiler room. frontman raymond marasigan in a Kato mask, looking like a superhero. trippy slow motions. guitarist twirling his guitar around his neck. changing fast cuts of members' close-ups mouthing the chorus. by the end, a surprise cameo of edu manzano with a beretta in each hand, walking in slow mo, then shooting everyone. then video ends with a close up of poker faced killer. reminiscent of a michael bay or any hitman movie. beautiful.

**

maybe this is my calling. music video director. or at least conceptualizer.

**

i wish someone could post a decent manila map on the internet.

**

and in fairness to will devaughn's, McRice Burger's really good. i used to think the idea of rice in a burger or burgered rice or rice in place of burger bun was icky. this one's pulled off nicely. yum!

**

more soon. i hope

Guy Scott

2006-09-15T01:53:00.000+08:00

i've always wanted to prove to myself that guy sebastian (Aussie Idol) is Jill Scott's (r&b singer/producer) twin sister. i each image-googled their names individually and never thought it would be so easy to prove my claim with pictures i came up with. it just cracks me up, these two

Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

The Devil Wears Bossinni

2006-09-11T01:01:00.000+08:00

now that yours truly (who is currently having stomach problems, and is beer-thirsty as of this writing) is just recently jobless, it has come

to my attention at a staggering surprise that i have very little options to choose from. still, i am hopeful that anytime before the dreaded

holidays, i had already chosen a job to support my evil vices and the upcoming gift giving binges. here are dream jobs that i have been

dwelling upon, the past couple of days

sex worker - haha kidding.

**

pastry chef - one time while dining alone at a restaurant that serves my favorite comfort food of all time, Hickory Spareribs with mashed

potato, roll and corn & carrots plus a large lemon iced tea, i happen to be seated at a table where i can clearly see how the bread chef

works. and it fascinated me. which then reminded me of this tito vic and joey flick (i think) where the bakers press the uncooked dough with

their underarms. BLeccchhhhh!!

i'd like to learn how to knead, press, cut, slice, preheat and ultimately replace Heny Sison and her boring cooking show. i just love it when

they taste test the finish product and never ever say, "MMM... lacks salt." or "I was expecting this to taste different. Can we heat this

some more." she's basically saying all her food taste great. and they say she's a good cook or chef or whatever they're really called, but

honestly, she's a dud.

so in conclusion, i want to be a pastry chef. bow. priority: 3 stars

**

sex worker - ok so i wasn't really kidding the first time. i have dwelled upon this too. but all the sleaze and the disease and the moral

watchamacallits really turned me off on this one. plus, i'm still a virgin

so in conclusion, this is just too much. priority 1 star

**

dj - as in Rock the House, In the scene, mini celebrity House Music DJ at a prominent club. yeah, long shot, you wish, i have no background

on working the turntable or whatever they call them now. but i do know what sounds good, what works up a crowd. i've been a club goer meself.

and i guess i pretty much know how the sound environment of a given time of night goes. that there's the Rockin' intro, the steady music, the

peak hour sounds, the crashing mode.

and i have to learn pa this and that much like learning a music instrument.

so in conclusion, this is crazy. priority 2 stars

**

dealer - no not drugs or arms dealer. my mom had suggested i try a career in the gambling industry. she mentioned this gig at PAGC*R where i

get to, well, deal cards. specifically deal cards to rich socialites, politicians, celebrities, idle rich who have nothing better to do than

gamble. and throw ashtrays when losing.

so in conclusion, this could be my chance to practice me P.R. and probably get a hefty tip because of my wit and good looks, er, P.R.

priority 3 stars

to be concluded..

i suddenly got the urge not to finish this list.

** this just proves even further that i can't finish what i start. i gotta learn how to change that

** yes, i might start blogging again

** and stop drinking less. wait, stop drinking more. wait, first sentence sounds better. toinks beer no function well without.

til here

X-Men 3 and a Baby

2006-05-29T01:40:00.000+08:00

why is it that we want so much from a partner.

i would have wanted someone

who likes sex as i do

is not squeamish with porn like any *normal* 25 year old male

rides the bus and finds serenity in it

eats tokneneng balut etc

watches local tv too, at times

who would sing Hard-Fi's Hard To Beat With me, even if he *doesn't sing*

who goes to that part of malate that's colorful and sleazy - ISH

who's not afraid of his sexuality AND therefore celebrates it

who knows the lyrics to Magasin

who knows at least 4 moony songs (better if he knew at least 6 moony song remixes)

who doesn't mind my past. past meaning, my kindergarden days hehehehe

who drinks more than me

and more..

i guess it's my way of saying i would love for our relationship to last, and i believe somehow, these small things help.
it's always the small things, ain't it

**

actually i did find one. but she's a she. so, bummer. and that's a different story

**

so far this past few months my life had revolved around work, the occasional get-drunk-and-pass-out beer marathons, SOME personal writing, daydreaming and forgetting. life is a big bore. it saddens me to think that all i do on my spare time, is wait to get to work. and at work, all i do is wait to get out and do something else. like get-drunk-and-pass-out beer marathons.

**

i've become a big fan of stolichnaya. double, on the rocks gets the job done in 15 seconds flat. jose cuervo is a different story. legend say that drinking this will make you forget you've drank it, so you drink some more. and the activities that conspired in between those shots are those you'd rather forget. that's what they tell me.

**

but mind you, i only do drinking binges in the company of people who i know can look out for me. like me office stalker. heheheheh

**

seen xmen 3 which was hog wash. yeah it was pure eye candy. watched it with 3 friends who grew up on xmen with me. we all agreed it was crappy. so we drank beer after. the solution to life's woe that is Xmen 3 the last stand. or should i say, The Last Time I'd Watch Any Xmen Franchise. i'm exaggerating of course. i'd probably watch it again for colossus

**

I am Colossus's Human form's Back!

My super move: Kidney Punch. Hiyugh!

The real Man of Steel

**

oh in the movie, they gave Rogue a real name. and it's Marie!!! Marie?!?!?!?!?!? mot%$er#@Fu%#*CK*34ers!!!!!!!

Shugohakke

2006-05-16T12:55:00.000+08:00

1st new crush Fernando Alonso, F1 champion, my age, beat 5-time champion Michael Shumakka, cutie, thick brows, thick neck, what else in his body is thick? hmmmm

2nd new crush, no, he's not inside this car, it's the car. Mazda 3. the "3" stands for Zoom Zoom Zoom, it's got a big ass, big body, big name. Turn on!

current hobby, flowerhorn breeder, actually i only have one green dragon flower horn size of a fingernail, that will soon turn to this, my "hubby" turned me to this hobby, and i will cherish it, and love and it, and squeeze it...

i like this fish because it looks tattooed, like your evil ex boyfriend.

this on the other hand is a nishigikoi, a fish i wished i had, suitable for mass production and pond living, very low maintenance, and looks good on the eyes specially for old people or restaurant entrance garden view, they grow upto the size of the normal human, like me. like a dolphin only more colorful and speaks fluent nihonggo, hai!

SPAM SPAM SPAM. i miss spam. Turn on!!!!

i'm not good with words anymore, it's all 's fault....kidding

and poi!

here's me promoting Xmen3 The Last Stand, taken by world renowned photographer ArRjAe PuNo. wehehehehe

AND!!!! i'm going to this

Chicane in Manila on the 27th

to do this

(no i won't turn into a preppy curly blonde

***

more pictures of alonso

and not alonso but also a cutie

i love tinypic.com!!!!

The Fluffer - my review

hehehehe kidding. as if the this pic alone won't make you watch it. (his name is scott gurney)

bored at work

(still can't get over the fact that someone would actually buy me an aquarium, Can this be love? nyahahahahahaha)

haha wala lang.

2006-02-12T05:51:00.000+08:00

Very excited about new Superman movie

That jake gyylleennhhaall guy is everywhere. Bareback Mountain, Jarhead and Proof are some, um, proofs. hehehehehe

seen here at my neighborhood in pasig, being candid with girlfriend, Mary Jane Watson

Manny Pacquiao's popularity has turned to this, signing filty whores' boobs

Seen here, with Darlington socks. On his head.

Fight Night Presents : Manny Pacquiao vs. Frail Filipina.

Winner! Pacman

One of my favorite movies of the year, Memoirs of a Geisha. Seen here, Ziyi Zhang as Pokpokomaru and Michelle Yeoh as Mamasan.

Bb. Pilipinas-International Precious Lara Quigaman brought much fame to our country when she won Miss International at the recently held Miss World 2005 in Pasay (or whatever)

Pinoy Big Brother hopeful, Budoy

left rolling his invisible twirly moustache, right modelling for Gap (Gapastilan Ataya uy!)

Fashion + Masokista = La Fashionista, Mich.

Bratinella Roxy, "...because I am proud and contented with my short legged."

Another hopeful Dr. Juan Flavier

left "Let's DOH it! Yus yur deldu!"
right Advocating Prostate Cancer Awareness

Astig! I agree!

2006-01-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

You scored as Shikamaru. You?re Shikamaru,
the lazy genius.
You often wonder how can life be so troublesome
you like to take it easy. You?re one of the laziest people
around, and it?s really hard to believe you?re a genius with
a high IQ and logic that never fails... That?s one big surprise
when you show them what you can do!

Shikamaru

88%

Hinata

81%

Iruka

75%

Kakashi

69%

Rock Lee

69%

Genma

56%

TenTen

56%

Sasuke

50%

Naruto

38%

Neji

31%

Which Naruto ninja are you most like?
created with QuizFarm.com

Miss Botswana

2005-10-10T15:06:00.000+08:00

so guys, here's the ish

i go bored as hell.. but then i don't really have the time/slash/too lazy to scan all your friendster profile

what's your favorite movie? or, what's this one strange movie that you've seen that you feel no one else had and loved it so much or changed you so much you'd wished you made/wrote/starred in the movie. a movie so unusual, different and something that would make me say? "really? you liked that?!" like K-Pax or Batman & Robin (which by the way is the suckiest movie ever made by a gay director) (anyone who gets offended, you deserve it) (Batman & Robin really sucked major ass)

but that was long time ago. give something new.

seven deadly syntaxes

2005-09-05T00:51:00.000+08:00

stolen without permission from phankmasters blog, but he will understand

7 things you enjoy doing even when there's no one around you:

laughing
some recreational, um, medicine heeheeeeee
housemusic
warping,lights,poi
master debating
thinking
writing things like these

7 things that lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level:

biting the inside of my lower lip, so when people think i pout a lot, i dont
smoking
biting them skin near the nails then spitting them at passersby
i wish i had a tongue ring, im a pretty oral person, see
music
daydreaming
why does it have to be seven

7 things that scare you:

dying lonely
dying unloved
dying ugly
dying with ugly make up
dying with one eye not glued shut (thats something)
dying forgotten
but not dying

7 things you like the most:

sex
drugs
and
rock
and
roll
nah! just kidding. i hate rock and roll heheheheheheh

7 important things in your bedroom:

i have no room right now
but in my old room theres the decaying body of my brother
carbon dioxide
sunlight
music
sanctity (wait do they have to be objects)
clothes
and a door. how else would i get in. and why whould you call it a room without a door

7 random facts about you:

i am a lover of life
i have developed a strange liking for people watching
never a day passed by that i didnt listen to music
i have a brown Springmaid comb, like most men in the philippines
im planning or fantazising about getting a glow in the dark tattoo
and a tongue ring
4 straight men raised me

7 things you plan to do before you die:

threesome
meet the dalai lama. and when i say dalai lama i meant Porn Star Eric Hanson
swim with a dolphin. it has to be just one dolphin
visit St Josephs in Cubao on its 100th year for plenary indulgence (nyaahahahhahaha im sinlesss!!!!!)
get rich goddamit! and not die the way i listed above
the other 2 im still thinking about

7 things you can do:

spend 1k on a beer spree
wake up and not remember about beer spree
sleep on almost any surface except lava, man! thatll be like, death man!
deep throat a 9 incher. sure id choke, man! but id still try heehee
grow hideous fat in my belly area. its a gift
eat nothing for 2 days (because money was spent on beer spree)
make people smile or laugh. (anong sabi ng tinga sa kulangot....Pare! anong ginagawa mo dito!) see!

7 things you can't do:

have sex with a woman, lady, female or goat. i hate goats. theyre freaky
wait thats 4 things already. damn!
rewind tapes after watching
finish Super Mario 3
masturbate drunk. that hand eye coordination thing is whacked!

7 things you say the most

deymn!
fuck!
shit! (okay so i curse a lot)
isang red horse
dude!
no, really. its this big!
di nga!

7 people that you want to take this quiz:

(you call this a quiz)
kirsh
tennister
garppp
daytodaycircus
grimace (yes the mcdonalds character, even though he or it doesnt have fingers, id love to see him try)
liquid ducky dreamer (hows cavite!)

2005-08-17T14:58:00.000+08:00

i wish someone would sing to me michael buble's HOME, with feelings.

**

when i was young i was stupid. years later, i'm LESS stupid

**

when asked to read a sentence about how much John weighs, i remember saying "John weighs 90 LIBS" (lbs.)

i also remembered reading a statement about a lawyer and i said "The jury agreed with Ah-ti Edwards" (abbreviated Attorney - Atty.)

and then names - "In the playground Michelle and Ma-eh played" (Mae) i remember this was in grade school. a classmate and my teacher laughed so hard.

also mispronounce KOG-NAK, DI-POT and KASH-EY. it was in late highscool i learned to pronounce these.

**

i hope to see you guys on friday. just posted some thoughts i dont wanna hafta remember. hehehehe

movie. addict.

2005-08-01T11:59:00.000+08:00

the way i see it

you wake up. eat. work. eat. stress. smoke. friends. talk. eat. smoke. drink. then go home. and then sleep.

sometimes you want something different. to experience a feeling. a feeling you dont normally feel. so you try a movie. something different. movies are meant to be taken in. to tell you a story. to induce a reaction emotion or feeling. it's not like you spend money to movies everyday. minsan lang. only when you feel like it. nothing wrong with that. some on the other hand loved movies so much they actually invest on it. or let it revolve around them. or vice versa. they are called (insert othern noun for movie freak)

now substitute the word movies with drugs... nyahahahahahahhahaha!

**

on to a more serious note...

i was able to catch an episode of one those local pinoy showbiz talk shows on sunday and here are amazing facts i found out

showbiz

all cute child stars turn out to be not-so-cute or gay adult stars

all sexy stars are evil or mean or bitchy. what they don't know is that after osang, this stint got boring.

all handsome and beautiful teen stars have butt ugly mothers.

someone should always be missing

all pretty couples have twins. cute little fraternal twins who endorse milk

young male stars never marry the mothers of their child. and they dont financially support their kid. so she has to come out and "apologize about ruining the matinee idol's career" because she really needs to buy milk. (they should've had twins)

**

talk shows

there has to be a fight

someone has to cry, followed by a stupid plug for a concert in San Fernando or Obando or somewhere remote where only cows can watch

someone has to thank dr calayan

every prominent stars goes home with a ridiculous bouquet of flowers

nobody fat, dark, disfigured, unkempt or extremely ugly stays on air for 3 seconds

when you see the word Exclusive flashing, it will be a revelation or something not entirely shocking and will span 3 commercial breaks

talk shows only hire loud gay voice overs with hideous laughter

and sometimes the word Exclusive is overused or used wrong. like say, "Exclusibo! Si IC may crush kay Drew!" Hallur!

staple lines are: "alam mo tito boy" "we're just friends" "ayoko na lang magsalita" "actually"

maybe they should change "talk" show to "Fight" show or "Pathetic Gimmicks to be famous" Show or "Let's Ruin Someone's Life" Show or "Privacy Invasion" Show. there's a lot really. it's stoopid but it's fun!

**

i'm bored, maybe i'll watch a movie. nyahahahahahaha!

2005-07-07T14:10:00.000+08:00

impromptu stream of thoughts. fire!

*i moved out of my antipolo home to share a pad with 5 officemates
*i'm honestly getting better in POI
*there's a new crush at our department. aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!
*well, kelan ba nawala yun hehehehehe
*was assigned to a different team where i am the seniorest agent. which means i might be given some supervisory tasks like monitoring and coaching. eekk! panic!
*on the plus side, cutey crush is on my team! eeek!!! more reason to panic!!
*what's weird is that he has a girlfriend and yet everyone thinks he's gay. (i.e. dresses nice, amazing physique, soft, a very conscious low voice, those second looks, doesnt have guy friends, fag hag at work, doesnt smoke drink do drugs. hmkay! he's not my crush anymore.)
*moving on
*you guys know that super gay song..."I will never (NEVER)..No No Never (NEVER) Love again...." i dont know why.... but i love it
*i love orange the color not the fruit. well i like the juice too, but the point here is i love orange lately.
*well so far
*it's been weeks since i've been to bEd. so i'm going tonight nyahahahhaah! any hitchers?
*speaking of hitch, movies i'm looking out for
H2G2, Fantastic Four, Sin City(well i missed it), Happy Endings.. well the point is it's hard for movies to excite me enough to watch it.
*oh and neil gaiman will be here tomorow. might have my Smoke and Mirrors copy signed. ack!
*also currently in love with Res-They Say Vision (Robbie Rivera Vocal Mixshow Edit) it's sensual and i love poing to it. i wish i could perform to you guys soon.
*also excited about Hell's Kitchen in August! more reasons to celebrate (and drugs! haha kidding)
*oh, and i kinda have this weeeeeeeiiiiird feeling, cutey crush has a crush on me. the chairs at the office are pretty light.
*i was kinda imagining reading this post kinda like the way they did in the last parts of the movie Rules Of Attraction. the fast storytelling type with lots of fast cuts and fast forwards.
*who has a multiply account?
*wow! it just dawned on me that missed bEd! aaahhh!!!
*what happened to garppp's blog?
*does anyone have a L Word season 1?
*my girl house mates loved the first 2 episodes of QAF courtesy of me. amazing!
*okay i'm done for now.
*how are you guys!

uh oh

2005-06-29T20:52:00.000+08:00

guys! i think i lost it.

my __________ to write.

i'll get it back soon. don't worry :D

show off!

2005-06-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

the alphabet of the week that was

2005-05-09T11:52:00.000+08:00

ambitious project alert - because of extreme boredom and tons of pictures on my harddrive, along with vanity (i.e. love of selfpictures) i am currently doing a feasibility report on doing a photomosaic of myself. the main photo was 1 taken during garrrp's birthday, cropped it and came up with a small picture 78 by 80 pixels. so around 6300 pictures should be taken (of myself) to make said mosaic. very ambitious indeed

bEd - for the first time in a long time, i went home with someone from bEd...or better yet someone took me to his home from bEd. woke up with no memory of what happened and this guy was going down on me. all i could think of was how the ceiling blue doesnt match the white of the wall. of course i regrouped and remembered everything soon. and even though sex was the last thing on my mind, it had to happen.

carlo - a co worker who i find amusing. he's peej's boyfriend (see P) and also peej's male version. i also heard that he's hung like (insert favorite hung analogy here)

dbd,dbd - nothing new and cool worth blogging about. i did see the gorefest Wrong Turn. yummy male lead. the rest forgettable.

e - my new favorite letter

fat ass - i woke up suddenly and i'm 160 pounds.

grazinni - Marco Grazinni is God's gift to women. not Jude Law

hung - i bet he's hung like a donkey on steriods who had Dolphy's genes. (my analogies are getting weirder and weirder, i know)

i wanna be with you everywhere - there's this song by Moustache that i enjoy listening to. the remix is such that the I wanna be... line is repeatedly chanted. the title is actually Everywhere and a sample of a Fleetwood Mac song of the same title. oh iiiiiiiiiiii..... i wanna be with you everywhere...

john hall - oh wait i take it back. John Hall is still God's gift to women. not Marco Grazinni

K - my second new favorite letter though i have yet to try it out.

lazy - in the middle of this post i was about to include pictures. then i got lazy. :D hehehee

men - i'm still all about men. that's not gonna change. though i also like late teens, boys, guys and some mannish women. like Chinggay. i'm still waiting for her to turn green. She Hulk Smash!!!

natural - our friend Natural had declared a few days back that he's finally single. it amazes me that a break up could actually damage a person like that. and when i say damage i mean free. he was last seen scouring bEd for copious amounts of beer and dubious company.hehehehe kampai to single hood natural!

ornussa cadness - i am simply amazed by whoever came up with this name. it sounds like a rare disease like dementia pugilistica or a weird muscle like latissimus dorsi. ornussa btw is a name of a female. a female who is currently dating borgy.

peej - i have a new friend in the form of a female beer guzzler, trance/deephouse diva, cameraphone whore named peej. her name is short for a femalized name of a recently and still dead pope. she calls herself alpha female and yet she's this laid back, chilled and very unaffected littl girl who's so passive she almost blends to the chair she sits on.

queue - i really dont wanna talk about work because it's as boring as (insert boring person here, like your math teacher, or your last fling, or maybe they're the same person) but seriously MAN!!! our department is getting disturbingly large amounts of calls. to which our bosses retaliated by hiring new agents. one of said new agents currently in training happens to be a chinito cutie(whom i havent seen btw) Rar!!!

ready to die - refer to S for accompanying text. after one helluva ride. i just realized that i'm not afraid of death. or dying. probably because of contentment. and happiness. and the knowledge that i'll die happy and i know the answer to the question "What's this life for?" Rar!!!

speed demon - i have met the demon. and his name is ivan. needing a ride home from a recent tagaytay trip, i took my chances on ivan's car even as i've heard of his notoriety for speeding to 100 even on a traffic jam. reputation proven. it was my first ever to ride a car that sped to 160! that's one hundred and mother effing sixty miles per hour!!! he even drove a 90(!) on a Strictly 40 mph/fine:5,000 php lane.

tagaytay - there was this team tagaytay trip which was mediocre. but beer filled. there were usual photo ops, beer guzzlings, weird pubic hair talks, a baby shower, homophobia, cute gym trainor fantasies. boring stuff really. i'll be posting groups pictures to make up for this bland post.

u2 - their newest album kinda sucked. they have to hire better producers. or disnmantle the bombs out of their asses, regroup and hire pharell to make their new album titled Love.Aging.Achtung.Baby. (nobody got this joke i'm sure)

vibes - as in good vibes bad vibes. a word that suddenly squeezed its way into my vocabulary pool. Good Vibes!

whatever a spider can - i had this weird and beautiful dream equivalent of a flying dream where i was spiderman. organic strings of web would shoot out of my wrists and i'd swing from ceiling to ceiling room to room out into the veranda and from tree to tree. i woke up and remembered every single detail. i love dreams like that.

xxx - why i love porn is no longer the question. why i have tons of it and how i hide it is the real mystery.

you - you, reading this blog. make a comment now.

zzzzzz - i love sleeping. but i hate sleeping when it's hot. so therfore i conclude, i should move to greenland. or closer to our ref.

ps: i changed my mind on the pictures here are some.

That's 2 Chimney Sweepers! No Waiting!

Stardance Challenge Number 1. Stop Dance Step Yes: A test of endurance and timing

You guys! I don't think these are real horses!

Meet the Poinker

2005-04-15T11:01:00.000+08:00

and so i realized that because of this weird thing called Science, specifically biology, such a thing called Rotting actually exists.

the 2 small fruits (methinks its baby suha) that i used as weights for the strings on my faux-poi exercises started to rot. curses!!!

it's not easy being green and brownish and moldy...

not one to be upped by stupid biology, i trashed the fruits and opted for a heavier but softer weights. Tada!

Raaaaarrrrgggh!!! I am made of RAAAAAAGE!

this way, when the twirling goes awry and the weights aim for my *eherm* lil Pois, i wont go sterile. Sweet!

in about a week or so, toinks shall be moving in to an apartment much closer to work, and closer to fellow odders ajman and kahlee. to which i shall pay tribute to my old room, that im sure i'll miss. paying tribute meaning, i'll be posting pictures of stuffs in my room that i'll miss, plus of course, silly captions.

(to my dismay, my photo server account's full so, really, no pictures here. anyone know a good photo server website? or whatever they're called where you can post them picture thingies and hyperlink them achuchuchuchu?)

lets move on!

**

house music alert!

currently in love with 2 club songs as of late. songs that i poi to when i'm bored. 1st is an old 1 from The Beach soundtrack called "Beached". trippy and fast with a little help from a dicaprio dialogue. 2nd is "How Did You Know " also a fast dance song accompanied by a strings orchestra (im not sure). 2 songs that are devoid of lyrics. it's the feeling i get that makes me like the song.

some club songs i like had something to do with this band or artist called Moony. who is by the way coming to manila on April 23. i have yet to google this later on, but right now, im kinda excited about that. i hope i get to hear them or her or him. okay i have to google this now!

didnt find enough info! methinks its a she.

**

i am quite (quite is a word i couldnt quite get. i used to believe that QUITE was a word that meant "kinda or a little bit" only to find out that quite actually means "to the greatest extent or completely" How fascinating is that!?!) excited about tonight. my sweet little friend from previous post had invited me out to a "Night of Trance and House Music" and it wasnt big time or anything like circuitasia.com. just a bunch of partiers who rounded up some party friends, photoshopped a flyer and crossed their fingers. let's all pray for my soul to be unfried and my brain in one piece.

**

my phone then starts to vibrate. it's beer calling! ha ha! see you guys saturday!!! peace and love by toinks!!

the chokachi post (why chokachi i dont know)

2005-04-04T11:53:00.000+08:00

well, my life has been nothing but a series of boring mishaps and routinary (for the lack of a better word) ecklavu's. so im gonna blog about someone else's life (or death). let's begin with the pope.

**dying has been rarely an issue for me. probably because i've never died yet. but the pope. man! that was some loss. the pope reminds me so much of my dad. and anthony hopkins. stand up kinda guy, (used to be) very athletic, balding white hair. kinda on the heavy side. walks slow. polish. and has a first name of a girl's. and now he's dead. and suddenly he's everyone's favorite pope, or person. im sure grade schoolers are now writing essays (or silly little prayers) for their homework. and also suddenly he's everyone favorite pope or person. of course people are gonna pray for him. im sure he's praying too. if... that's what dead popes do. no seriously. lets pray for him. (what are the chances of dead popes going to hell?) disclaimer: if this kinda sounds blasphemous im sorry. i didnt mean for it to sound that way. i just kinda feel like Mr. The Second is the kind of person who would want his life to be celebrated and not his death to be mourned. he looks like a fun guy. and if i remember my Christian Living correctly. he even visited this little sicko who tried to wipe him out of his popedom. and he has a comics! sweeeeeet! so overall. he's a dead superhero that we all love. with matching white flowing cape and all, a royal magical staff and hoardes of bodyguard. hmmm, kinda like Gabdalf the White.
let's move on to live ones!

**so there's this sweet little co worker of mine who, well, happens to deal with stuffs of illegal nature that i "sometimes" participate in. she then introduces me to nino. buff and goateed and very entertaining. in the midst of beer sessions, he then whips out this cool gadget and starts showing us some tricks. what he entertained us with was this

only more elaborate, faster and with the use of two shoestrings and glowsticks. it was all done in the dark so the "show" was extreeeeeeeeemely amazing that i actually clapped. i was, *kinda* induced (beer and some other stuff i dare not mention but we all know about) enough that i actually enjoyed it (i.e. wide eyed, big grin, "Whoooo!"-ing and spewing curses of amazement). another factor was that nino was hot (maybe that's what i was grinning about?), shirtless (that time), high and was very friendly (i.e. touchy, grabby and loud) take note that this was all done in a motel. what a fucked up show!

**i enjoyed it so much that im also learning the trick myself. it's actually (officially) called Poi or fire twirling and done with two chains with a glob of fire on ends. so far. i can do 3 tricks. i cant do it with fire for the fear of burning what's left of this weird hole called My House. so i improvise with the use of a small fruit tied to a shoestring. how sad! and poor fruit!

anyway this is not about me. so let's move on.

**let's go back to sweet little co worker. she's this short, long haired, self declared Alpha Female who shares the same wavelength as mine. often times we would end the day with red horse and V's. and the next day we would to talk each other about what happened that drinking session, how it ended and how we woke up in each our rooms and never finding out how we got there. we reminisce this at another drinking spree. my liver is really going to hell. but hey, i only have one liver. better make the most out of it. (nyehehehehehe) she on the other hand is quite fascinated by me too. at one point i tell her "You're the female version of me, sana lalake ka na lang" to which she replies "Ohnga eh. ikaw den." "Ako den?! male version mo?" "Hind, sana lalake ka na lang!" to which i grab her head playfully choke her to death as we laugh ourselves to death. in her case, to certain asphyxiation death. nyahahahaha! damn i miss writing!

**my friend chino suddenly drops by the house in his black Charade and asks for company to visit girlfriend. during the long drive to way up antipolo, we talk about driving lessons (i.e. how to shift gears, and how he drives much better while beer induced), house music and all my unstraight friends. i failed to mention that him and girlfriend are having a baby (his 2nd "panganay"). i told him i cant be god father anymore as i am already godfather to 1st panganay. he then retorts in a most hilarious, mock-gay accent. "Day, hindi ka ninong! Fairy Godmother ka nitch!" we laughed our asses off so much we almost hit a truck load of chickens. im so not used to my straight friends talking like parlorista "Dakuls" (Daliring kulot)

**i then meet sofie the girlfriend and see his big tummy. instinctively, i kiss her on the cheeks and pressed softly on her belly. in my head i was crying and told myself "i may never have one of this" well thats life...... i scanned her home and saw the most amazing golden retriever who actually fetches things when ordered too. i found little solace in that thought where if i can never have a baby, i might still get a dog. another sight that fascinated me scanning through the house was a black obedient cat sleeping on the ventilation grill on top of their tv. i laughed so hard that my friends thought i was crazy. or losing it. c'mon! thats a sight aint it?! second sight that fascinated me was sofie's 4 year old kid sister lying beside golden retriever. her head on it's belly. how cute. see?! it's these simple things that make my life interesting.

(wow long post)

**backtrack to boracay. the boracay trip was massive fun. im caught in between the "it was so breath taking that im speechless" and the "i had so many stories and thoughts that i dont know where to begin" so i end up coming up with a lame anecdote like meeting Love Anover and commenting that she's one goofy character. i might just post some pictures someday and post silly little captions. like this one.

let'seee.... according to my dangerous mammals handbooks, those swimming things over there are called....hmmm... sharks! Oi!

more soon. happy reading you guys!!!!!

and yes this post is so long i didnt proof read it. or i might never read it again after the first time. :D but still. enjoi!

The Collateral Village Going on 30 starring Mark Ruffallo

2005-02-18T09:54:00.000+08:00

today, i am greatful for this one man who has come into my life. for the past weeks i have been blog absent because of him. and this is the revelation.

xx/xy - a story about a grungy/dirty looking mark ruffalo who had a threesome with 2 girls. and ended up with a so so fiance. and a bad ending. but mark rufallo was there so, really, its not so bad. plus, you get to see his butt. and that cute look-sideways-look-front-look-sideways-look-front-"what did i do?" kind of Look that he does so adorably.

collateral - a story about a trigger happy, platinum grey-haired tom cruise whose hobby is to put bullets in people's heads. then comes overall nice guy jamie foxx who drives richard gere, i mean tom, all over new york for the hobby. things turn for worse when mark ruffalo dies. this is when i shut off the dvd, ran to the corner of my bathroom, curled fetal and cried like a 13 year old jenna rink.

13 going on 30 - is a story about a 13 year old jennifer garner who woke up with amnesia but still ended up with mark rufallo because of madonna's crazy for you. this is where i cried tears of joy. and the only movie where mark actually smiles. *sigh*
supersize me - this documentary/social commentary relays the information that eating macdonalds for 1 whole month is really bad for your health. (i dont get it) what surprised me though was the confrontation scene between mark ruffallo and his leading lady who happens to be a french fry where he shoved her to the wall, screamed at her face, fell to the ground and just cried for forgivenes.. powerful scene worthy of an oscar. or was that scene only in my head.

the village - a story about a blind girl who had fallen in love with a boy. and since she's blind, i can only imagine she sees mark rufallo in her head. but the boy is really jouaquin phoenix. when mark rufallo, i mean joaquin was fatally wounded, little miss blindy upped and ran out through the forest for medical help only to find that a monster in red cape was out to growl at her. the monster turns out to be *spoiler ahead* *gasp* Haley Joel Osment's dead career!!
the notebook - equally as good looking as mark rufallo is the notebook's lead young star ryan gosling which we SHOULD remember as the young hercules from channel 2. i remembered him because i used to watch that cutie on tv in hopes that id catch a glimpse of his nipples, i mean strength and agility. it reminded me that young hercules once fought a giant CGI dragon so phallic that i creamed my pants as i watched it. didnt see any nipples. but he did fling his hair backwards and flexed a little bicep. (dont worry mark, i still love you more) moving along, the story is kinda like 50 first dates. but not really. kinda like titanic. but not really. kinda like Cinema Paradiso. but not really. kinda like Young Hercules. no not really. also i cried 3 times. because im a sap thats why. but not really.

and my favorite part of this DVD was...the ending. because it was during the ending that i went to the Special Features of the menu screen to repeatedly watch the trailer of We Dont Live Here Anymore, starring (OMG!!!!) Mark Ruffallo!!!!

man on fire - this stars black person and bad ass negro Denzel W. and a robotic Dakota Fanning. whose name reminds me of Dakota King 2003. thats why i have to keep postponing watching this film so i can watch porn instead. no mark rufallo here. move along

final cut - this is probably the most intresting, promising movie synopsis i've ever read on a dvd cover that i actually bought it with no knowledge or familiarity with the movie. i also bought it since it listed Jesus Christ Caviezel as one of its stars. and when i said promising, i meant that the story or the idea for the story was really amazing. but it was a poorly executed movie. its about a chip planted from birth. records everything til death. upon death, chip is retrieved, edited by "Cutters" and is showed to mourners and family members as "Rememory". i wish a chip like this exists but only records dreams. and i wished Caviezel had a shower scene. darn it! it starred Robin Williams as a cutter. and the rest of the story will be forgotten memories retrievable only by the Zoe Chip.

so this is my life so far. work. buy dvd. go home. watch. eat. sleep. work. repeat.
sometimes there's the sex with the co worker. party with the fab friends. drink with the straighties. driving lessons with the mom. shopping with myself. and daydreams galore of men. buff nude men. buff half nude men playing basketball. buff fil-american ball players running sweaty. buff fil-american ball players showering with other buff fil-american ball players. dark skinned, greasy and buff talyer workers scratching butt. buff, crewcut, big biceped army recruits chanting and jogging in line, all in sweaty grey shorts and tight olive green tanktops. buff and huge not to mention cute wrestlers grabbing each others crotch area. cute faces. cute co workers. cute strangers. hot pornstars. czechs. kendo swordfights. living in new york. winning 40 million in lotto. getting a nose job, tummy tuck and butt lift. being a comic artist. meeting mark ruffalo.

and the man i was talking about in the introduction is NOT mark ruffallo. it's Doods. the pirated dvd vendor. hehehehehe

side notes

** aside from the usual taking in calls, i have been assigned as floor walker. one that manages the break schedule of all 30 agents in my department. and is the walking information database. where one gets to ask "Toinks, how do you connect so and so unit to so and so unit?" and to which i reply with a very enthusiastic "Uhm... i'll get back to you on that" which i never do. hehehehehe

** family gets a brand spankin' pimp mobile in the form of a Honda City. i have yet to learn how to drive/drink and drive with this baby. and i'm taking my time

** my underwear had been upgraded to 6 pieces thanks to baconry. baconry is the property of an underwear garter to assume the form of fried bacon in time. whooopeee for me!

** one of the trailers in the Final Cut dvd was The Phantom of the Opera(which deserves a seperate post). watched the latter movie in the cinema and one of the trailers was Final Cut. ang kulet!

** love ko paren bench/ :D

** my prayers to an odder who has something. let's pray for him too. he doesnt want to come out with it yet. but please include him in your prayers as "my odder brother who has something" hugs dude!!

** more prayers for phankmaster's dad. i pray that you are strong. be weak if you have to and we will be strong for you. hugs dude!! live life! love love!

take me to the clouds above

2004-12-28T23:57:00.000+08:00

this post is two folds. the first, um, fold is me thanking my brODDers for a most cherished award (feeling oscars) that i will forever hold dear in an alcohol marinated organ called my heart.

thank you so much for reading, for laughing, for experiencing what it is to be me. sometimes.

thank you for coming, for visiting, for commenting and for devoting a few seconds to peek into my blog.

i really really REALLY appreciate it you guys! and i promise to never use FOLDS again in a post. :D

2nd fold is my christmas getaway/exile in cebu.

it all started (CUE IN: harp musical score) when my dad decided that we must spend christmas in cebu with his side of the family...

FAST CUT TO: comical montage of toinks filing 3 vacation leaves and getting 3 shiny approvals, toinks bidding farewell to overacting officemates, toinks searching endlessly for a misplaced airplane ticket, toinks packing gym bag with 19 days worth of clothes for a 6 day trip, toinks' sister pulling toinks' hair, pouring cold water and shoving alarm clock at toinks' face to wake him up, toinks and sis rushing to airport then slowing down to ogle at nymphet Angelica Jones doing an interview at the airport gates. montage ends as two are rested on window seats next to a foreigner handcarrying a bouquet of overgrown and stinky carnations.

as the plane steadily rises, i couldnt keep my mind off the fact that it has been 2 years since i rode a plane and that i'm starting to get jittery for all the wrong reasons. but as we reached (according to Capt Eduardo Something over the intercom) an allowed 30,000 feet and flying at the speed of 40 something nautical miles, my anxiety simply dissolved with the view of a most spectacular sky of pure white clouds just at my eye level. a view that, well let's face it, you dont get to see everyday (unless of course you're the pilot, or aguiluz) 2 things came into mind. (no not mulawin) first was a memorable scene and painting by Charles Vess from Neil Gaiman's book Stardust. the simple thought that people were walking on clouds made me giddy and like a child again. second thought was a scene from Laputa. and that a castle might be hiding inside one of the clumps of white way over yonder. and yeah, i almost felt tears well up my eyes. it kinda felt like God was hosting The Price is Right and the view was what's behind door number 1. amazing.

oh and by the way, behind door number 2 was the cute steward. who asked if i wanted coffee, tea or him, i mean juice. i couldnt flirt with my sister abound. and so in my most nonchalant, ever passive demeanor, i said "Um, anong juice?"

one juice conversation led to another, i got his number, the hotel he's in, and in one of those rare christmas moments, we kinda cozied up. here's a picture:

scroll slowly if you're in the office...

or view only if you're alone...

haha! who's titillating now?! (and if you didnt get it by now, the last part was "embellished")

to be continued....

My Day-Off Rental Movie Marathon Fantastique

2004-11-11T08:04:00.000+08:00

rentals - there's something about movie rentals that turn me on. it's probably the thought that im just borrowing it. and that it's not mine.

so i kinda feel like someone is letting me watch their movie. and it's cheap so if i hated the movie, i can just scrub my face with eskinol.

animeko - i became a frequent renter because of this neat little store beside my High School School (?) i started with anime titles like Eva, some porn(okay a ton of porn), stupid comedies like Mallrats, erotic movies like Solitaire, crazy violent movies like Kids. then it evolved into smart, "huh?!" films like Being John Malkovich, more experimental porn like American Bukkakke, gay love stories like All Over The Guy and tearjerker flicks like Frequency.

encore encore encore - it's weird that among some of the movies i have repeatedly rented it's these themes that usually recurr: fatherhood(Frequency, Life Is beautiful, Lion King and Finding Nemo), threesomes(Chasing Amy, Threesome and Splendor), masturbation and Freddie Prinze (*sigh*).

*i guess i like the idea of renting so i dont actually own a copy of it. that i enjoy the anticipation of wanting to watch that movie and not having it readily available so the anticipation gets even stronger and the satisfaction becomes sweeter. satisfaction. satisfaction.*

otnemem - i once was browsing through the web and found the interesting fact that Guy Pearce starred in Priscilla Queen of The Desert as one of the drag Queens. couldnt find said movie in the rental shop so i re-rented a favorite, Memento *goosebumps* and the very reason why i love this movie is, waitaminit, i forgot. (nyehehehehehehe) didnt want to waste anymore rental money (and i promised someone i'd burn one for him) so i brought the dvd to office and copied. (in my head i can hear him shout whoopee! provided he hadnt seen it yet or havent found one in
quiapo)

close open - also rented Close Your Eyes. the prequel to Penelope Cruz starred spanish movie Open Your Eyes (kidding) Close Your Eyes starred Goran Vinjsic, or was it Vinsjic? whatever. it's a story about a hypnotist who helps in a murder case involving (toinks: khanum? what's
english for tulala? khanum: uhm, astonished? toinks: ah ok) involving children who got away from an attempted murder and from the trauma, became astonished (hikhikhik) . and true to it's title, i did Close My Eyes and slept halfway through. goran's good looks couldnt save the movie. thats the thing with rentals. you are never stuck with a shitty movie in your shelf. you can just return the movie and never talk about it again.

dial m for muscles - another rental is Running on Karma. a chinese, or was it korean movie about a former buddhist-monk-turned- "striper" (not a typo, the dvd case really did say he's a striper. im assuming he works at a zebra ranch) i rented it purely for the dvd cover that showed a shirtless and bulky muscle god that made my undies squirm. watching through the movie, i was crushing on the star and revelled at every scene where he gets to showcase his body (stripping scene, running naked in the streets scene, boxing match scene, contemplating on
being a bald monk while nude scene, and girls pinching his nipples/chest scene) what amazed me was how a guy with that much muscle and bulk could do backflips, do kung fu or run fast. (Gov. Arnold was never this limber) i examined the movie again for a second helping of the hottie and found out *gasp* Prostethic Muscles!??! my heart sank.... i felt betrayed and used. no wonder he was so agile. and he seemed too good to be true. it looked so real. oh well. let's move to the next movie

i still hate ethan - after much pondering, i had decided to rent ethan's Before 'Sunrise' for the kicks. i couldnt relate to the story. (i can relate more to the buddhist/striper or the boring hypnotist, or the forgetful investigator) it's weird really. this is probably one of those movies that i watched just so i could tell people i have seen it. im like that sometimes. i also plan on watching Before Sunset in theater with a nice date. hopefully a female who had seen the first movie. or maybe anyone in particular. someone who can stand long conversation-movies. like *bleep*

tetsuoooo - oh, and i also rented that much talked about anime akira. zzzzzzzz.... all the hype and no susbstance. e!

i've also been recommended the following movies and i hope to watch them once i get feedback from you guys. if any of you has seen any of these, tell me if it's good

donnie darko - it's about a weird rabbit (?)
requiem for a dream - i heard its about all forms of weird addiction like drugs or soap operas
ghost in the shell 2 - hmmmm... i hope i hear from jagard about this or duckling dreamer
duda - duh?! it's a gay movie?! any of you reccomend it? is it any good?!

you had me at Hellurrrrr

2004-10-27T09:44:00.000+08:00

as per rc's demand, here's an update.

well not really an update. nothing much has happened lately. still the same work 9 hours a day, drink and dance on days off, get blind drunk with friends, wake up shitfaced and hung-over in bulacan. nothing new really.

**

halloween is coming up and the office has this Come To Work In Costume Theme. i plan on going as Ricky Fitts with matching camcorder, doobie and floating plastic bag. other options are drag queen Virgina P, Drill sargeant BooBear or Leather Daddy-O. im torn.

**

loved Ben Affleck's character in Jersey Girl. just saw it the other day and it makes me laugh each time i am reminded that Kevin Smith wrote it. one scene that stood out was the father-daughter confrontation scene. i loved it so much that i had to rewind it 4 more times. powerful. it's so Kevin Smith.

noticed that all characters were likable and real. language was crass. emotions were raw. humor was funny as hell.

also noticed that a kevin smith flick wouldnt be complete without masturbate in the script. how odd.

**

i'm never gonna watch before sunset. i hate ethan hawke. period.

**

finally saw an episode of out. zzzzzzz.....

**

speaking of doobie... im only realizing now that a good amount of co workers in our department are, um, kindreds. (hehehehehe) i love this job.

**

there's this co worker who has a car who has a twin who drives home by my route. on more than one occassion we have sparked up a joint in the middle of pasig traffic in his untinted car. to which i wonder, is our government eqquipped with the armaments to combat hostile and warfaring countries of asia? i think not!! steps have to be done with regards to this, um, wonderment. dont we all think?!

**

there's also this co worker Zoe, who, from what i hear, has a boyfriend who fookin beats her up. i got enraged and frustrated. enough that i contacted an old friend, Israel, who was an extra in Assunta's Red Diaries, and who happens to kill for a living. all i gotta do left is find out who Zoe's boyfriend is. people like Zoe's boyfriend dont deserve to live. (of course this is half meant)

**

im also noticing a "distance" between me and a co worker, Ian. she's this bubbly character who i swear to god started the whole "Hellur" phenomena. it used to be that she would talk to me, kiss me goodbye and ask me every week what my day off is. (i'm later finding out that i also do that to co workers i have a crush on or those i'd like to ask out) she then gets a boyfriend, also a co worker, and she suddenly turns cold on me. eh!? and i am ASSUMING, that its her boyfriend who's making her do this. mahirap talaga maging pogi. *shishishishi*

monkey chops

2004-10-17T11:07:00.000+08:00

8 minute is the time i have left in my break. so i'll make this one unruly unorganized and editless...

went to government friday night and realized makati has such a nice crowd. the ratio of cutie to homely is 1 out of 6. the ratio of buff god to mere mortals is 1 out of 8. im really bad in math. i wonder how i can still come up with this in 8 minutes. ooops 6 minutes left.

also hated makati for passing such ugly ugly smoking laws. damn you self rightoues non smokers! go to heaven!!!!

imagine having to cramp yourself in one "lounge room" where everyone smokes, closed space, candle lit, shoulder to shoulder. kinda like an elevator of death.

the bar was too bare, people wise. since the place is too big to fit Sangkabadingan Makati Inc. which is what? 300? that place can fit SMI plus Straight Ltd. and Foreigner Lowlifes With Nothing Better To Do Corp. and theres still room left for 30 musclemen-busboys. with this dilemma, recruits had to be imported all the way from malate. saw around 1 in 10 familiar faces that night.

entrance and beer was expensiver than malate's. im assuming the guys are expensiver too. darn it.

it might take me some serious male persuasion to set foot back in that place.

and i realized that one key ingredient was missing in that place. sleaze. im going back to bed.

8 minutes is up

**

(written on my second break)

i finally discovered that spot on the quiapo map where dvds sprout like gay worms on a dead jon hall's corpse. it was pure bliss. it was like, magical, i was speechless, dumbfounded, and hungry. yeah i was hungry that time too.

bought myself Jersey Girl (havent seen it yet) some miyazaki's (yet again) and SOuth Park. to which my friend asked "Dude ilan taon ka na nga ulit?" i said 23 why? "ah, kala ko 12 ka eh"

ha! can you think of a 12 year old who understood Mononoke? and sees it as a master piece kick ass, my cartoons can kick your cartoons piece of film art??! no?! okay.

and for 60 bucks a pop?! digress

one time i went to virra mall to look for some dvds back when i didnt know what quiapo offers. and guess who i saw browsing. tj manotoc.

deym! and here i thought a tv personality/gossip freak/and not so cute of the manotocs would actually condemn piracy.

i would often see him in tv and think to myself. is borgy really your brother? how come youre not as hot?

then when i saw him greenhills. ching! ibang hotness pala. he's not so bad after all. digress

**

a few days ago, THE ex added me up on friendster. and all i could think of was Nyeeeeee...

was i losing it? dont i miss him anymore? is this the new friendster layout?! cute! i'm planning on posting a pic of mine with one of the odders. pampaselos. add that you bitter ex!!! hehehehehe digress

**

it's not that i lost an interest in writing, it's more of a "i lost some means of blogging". i wish there was a way for me to blog even without web access..

15 i's

i am currently enteraining/FUBUing an ex of an ex

i took a shower/rub-off/soap-down with a "hipon" officemate. what the fook was i thinking?

i am contemplating on a tongue pierce

i havent had sex in a month

i would STILL rather JO than have sex

i'd rather kiss than go down

i'd rather eat spam than have someone massage me

i still have no permanent phone

i've lost my amour for it

i lost my simcard few days ago and i thought "i'll never find it again" so i went ahead and planned on cancelling it and getting a replacement. i suddenly had the urge to miss call it. the guy answered and swore he'd retun it. he returned it. after which, i planned on never contacting him, and think to myself that he is some entity/angel/random stranger that i will someday repay.

i currently am missing some odders

i'm becoming super chums with a non-cute plu officemate who's a member of lspg.org

i still havent seen an episode of OUT, daig pa ako ng straight guy friends ko. shet.

i dont know where my life is headed

i'll get kicked out of the office if i incur another tardy or absence within 2 months

i am developing a dislike/rejection/vomitty effect on peaches *shudder to think*

i am currently loving litro packed Tang any flavor. its heaven in a sachet favorite is pineapple. runners up are grape and manga

i dreamt that i was having sex with an odder. eek! (kinda yiiiiikiiiii)

i only have 3 pairs of briefs. eek!

i would like to have nice abs and great torso and yummy butt. or at least touch them.

i promised myself that by next year, im sailing to boracay by hook or by line or by sinker (heheheheheh)

i am ending this post with a question...

i wonder. how are my friends? comment naman jan!

sorta kinda like-a parang medyo maypagka update

2004-10-07T01:27:00.000+08:00

watched tons of movies

lost some pounds to running

went to puerto, got mindoro "slung", flirted with a co-worker, peed on the door, swam like a merrrrman, took underwater pics, went home with skin cancer.

saw ajman and co.'s lovely pad. lovely

made friends with an ex

took a drug test that i pray i wont regret

started dating again, didnt work out.... (why do i even bother)

2 tv's, pc and an electric fan went to the grave. my house is cursed with dead appliances

uploaded pix for friendster

got a nipple piercing

had a fling with a "protein" freak!!! thank god i drink pineapple juice (im trying to get that mental picture out of my head)

stalker/admirer/co-worker bought me a shirt

slept one night with 5 guys in one bed (ahihihihihihi)

detoxicating myself of coke and sprite anything bought in a can and carbonated

and thats it.

one of the statements is false. can we guess what it is?

the balls are on my court

2004-08-27T15:47:00.000+08:00

im being suspended from work from september 6-8. and i have 2 days off 2 days prior to that. oh happy days! i can hear soft chirping birds

**
speaking of happy days...
this is one homoerotic experience. for me that is. dont ask me how, but just this afternoon, i was in a locker room (and wet room) filled with a sweaty team of Ginebra Beermen basketball players . it was the first time i was in a room filled with towering bulky not to mention sweaty men all in stages of undress. my head was screaming. but i was behaved. with an evil grin.

im no peeping tom, at hindi malikot ang mata ko, but somehow, ive managed to see the naked behind of one of em, immersing from a jacuzzi. it was surreal. (im not sure what surreal means but it fits, right?)

i did have a nice mini chat with estong though asking about when their next game is (yeah sure toinks, here's a chance to rub elbows with hot hotties in loose shorts, and chunks of rock hard arms bursting out of sleeveless shirts and you chat up the ugly one, Great Job!)

erik menk is fucking huge. everyone was looking at him. it even tempted me to ask, "hows the weather up there" or something lamely stupid like that. decided not to.

i only recognized some of them though, estong, bal david, mister menk, three bald bulky fil-ams but more on the fil side. who loves usher.

what i noticed clearly though, was that they all have nice butts. this was one of them moments when i wished i have the power to stop time.thank god i can behave if i have to. god knows what evil would sprout if this happened to doc. hehehehehehe.

but thats the end of that. and when i think about what had happened, ican only come up with the words, huge, bulk, butt, fucking huge, freakishly gigantic, sexy, sweat, (viva hot men?! bah!) and cute. yeah, that was a cute episode. and this time guys, i didnt make this up.

**

back to real world. naaahhh. i cant. im still figuring out the name of that hottie player with the smouldering stare. damn filipino basketball websites suck! i am so watching pba from now on. go jaworski!

2004-08-25T10:15:00.000+08:00

mister olympia

speaking of olympics, my mom's brother whom we endearingly call Tito Dudoy was actually sent to athens a few weeks before, not as one of the athletes though, but as one of the officials for men's boxing.
shown here in his Baptismal suit and non-sensical surgical gloves, raising the arms of Red who happens to have a shaved underarm, which is kinda kinky i must say.

thi is him pointing at Blue, warning him that his foundation, Burgundy, does not match his skin tone, and that racoon eyes are so not him.

his name's arturo vidal. in case you wanna look him up. his being chosen was all over local newspapers a few weeks back. and even on the net. and btw, i got this blasted nose of mine from their side of the family. curses! letsee them media men write about that!

**

twenty three and teen titans

new addiction: Teen Titans! this is one of best ~~cartoons~~ masterpieces i've encountered in a long while. it's fun, high octane, silly, young and addicting. it's about a team of 5 young superheroes with superhuman abilities led by Robin (Batman's boytoy) who happens to be *gasp* only Human!

while the rest of the pack is of another realm, or made up of robotics, or shapeshifts, Robin, the appointed leader, is only human(!) with no other abilities but leadership, agility and looking good in tights. and it only makes me giddy everytime he shouts "Titans, Go". i sense a new crush is slowly developing, a crush of the 2-dimensional kind.

Starfire: (worried that everyone's not getting along) Do you wish to invite the Rakmas?
Beastboy: Gesundheit?
Starfire: On my world, Rakmas means the drifting. The point at which close friends begins to drift apart. And their friendship begins to die.
Cyborg: Aw come on Starfire.
Beastboy: We are so not Rak-whatevering.

**

girly girls, and what men did to deserve to live in these norms

on my way home, i chanced upon two women, letsay around late 20's wanting to cross the street to where i am. they each glanced sideways, made a first step, decided not to, retreated, and by some weird, involuntary action, grabbed for each other's hand, without looking at each other and crossed the traffic. it made me think, can men do that? or will it ever come a time that it would be natural to see two grown men do this?

it's amazing to think that women can do a million things that men cant. but can 5 women pee in a glass all at once? i think not. men win.

**

to be entinued

puto maya

2004-08-23T09:11:00.000+08:00

got inspired by tennister's post about songs and decided to make one myself.

song i would really love to hear on stage sung by absolutely anyone. thats how desperate i am at wanting to listen to a different version of this coz thats how much i love it: Crave by Marc Dorsey.

song i'd want to listen to while someone is washing, stroking my hair, by a large window overlooking a dewy sunday morning green garden: Crazy Love - Aaron Neville
while at puerto galera, i made sure i stored memorable songs on my then mp3 phone so i could listen to it with a puerto galera sunset view and sand on my back. the songs were tracing - john mayer, lifetime - maxwell and this year's love by david gray. it was an incredulous feeling. one that i may never put to words my whole life.

song i'd keep on repeat play while drinking cold cold red horse beer: Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead, Fade into You - Mazzy Star, Satellite - DMB, Something Is Calling You - Norah Jones, Obscure, La Dolly Vita and Cupid De Locke by Smashing Pumpkins

it still bothers me why i love these obscure and cheesy pop songs: 17 - Mandy Moore, Escape - Enrique Iglesias, Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake

songs that make me wanna learn a new language: Complainte De La Butte - Rufus Wainwright, Perfect Blue - l'arc-en-ciel,

songs that make me wish i have a boyfriend to slowdance with: When We Dance - Sting, Don't Worry Baby - The Beach Boys, Swept Away - Christopher Cross, My Funny Valentine - Matt Damon

one and only Mariah song i like: Fantasy the extended remix

if songs were human, these would be gogo boys: Turn Your Lights Down Low - Bob Marley & Lauryn Hill, Love to Love you - Donna Summers, I Touch Myself - The Divinyls

favorite coldplay song: tie between yellow and we never change

favorite run-in-slow-mo-into-the-arms-of-someone-you-love-while-chorus-builds-up-as-you-start-to-embrace song: i'll stand by you - the pretenders

favorite stop-flirting-with-me-in-this-dance-floor-or-i-swear-papatulan-kita song AKA the Come Hither song: Safe From Harm - Narcotic Thrust

favorite drunken choir sing along song: Magasin - Eraserheads, No one else comes close - Joe,

favorite song played on a bamboo flute by freddie prinze jr. or a random anime character: What Child Is This

songs that had made me cry in more than one instance: Ikaw Lang Ang Aking Mahal - VST & Co.

the pick-me-up-from-this-hellhole-state-i'm-in song: All I want - Paul Oakenfold and most club/house/bEd songs

the huh?-i-really-like-this-song? song: Only Time - Enya, that tagalog song by King, I would do anyting for love - Meatloaf

songs i like because i can relate to: Anytime - Brian McKnight, Burnout - Sugarfree, You Were Always on My Mind - Elvis Presley

favorite Disney song sung by a talking (and singing) crustacean: Kiss The Girl
songs or artists that i will never like even at gunpoint: any savage garden, celine dion, macy gray, jimmy bondoc/paolo santos.

artist i'd probably commision to make the soundtrack if ever a movie was to be made about me: tough call, but i'd say Pharell Williams or Bjork or DMB

i will embarass myself willingly to sing these falsetto songs: Got To Give It Up - Marvin Gaye, Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake, Would I Lie To You - Charles & Eddie, If I Aint Got you - Alicia Keys

next list would a list of my favorite movie scenes. or bahala na.

the ballad of a post that came out of boredom in C sharp minor augmented. WTF?

2004-08-18T05:48:00.000+08:00

[Spell your first name backwards]: .atupal lu elleot nakiwoap !hgout si siht

[The story behind your email add]:i was watching too much touched by an angel. or was it The Craft?!

[Where do you live?]: in a house on a downhill slope. with a golf course as a view. and four mad dogs. carrier of my leg itch

[Wallet]:if i invented wallet, i would have named it "foldip". tang ina na snatch foldip ko. no i dont own a wallet. i wish i did.

[Jewelry you wear daily]:a random left earring, a black bead necklace. and a badge of greatness.

[Pillow cover]:some drool. gel. weird weird stains all over.

[Shoes]:red spalding fuck boots. slowly turning brown. a cheap white adidas running shoes. i swear this is true. i washed them two shoes, scrubbed, then hung them by the veranda. a day later. one pair of the shoe laces got lost. i looked around and saw a crumpled shoelace entwined amongst what looks to me like a bird's nest. i burned their humble abode. damn birds!

[What you are wearing now]:bro's oversized ateneo ROTC white shirt. and blue jogging pants. commando. can i wear a song? then yes im wearing a song in my head.

[Hair]from yesterday's bench wax whatever. unruly. unkempt. and tired. if my hair had feelings. he'd be tired.

[In my head]:songs. figuring out how to answer this.

[Some of your favorite movies]: let's see. The Man Inside. Idol In The Sky. to name a few. Tampopo. ahihihii

[Something you're looking forward to:]pay. lay. jay. and beer.

[The last thing you ate?]:chicharon bulaklak. with some friends. i love the word BLIND DRUNK. it's so me. i heard it in a will & grace episode with mira sorvino. BLIND DRUNK. maybe i'll name my new blog such. BLIND DRUNK with host, Boy Kampai. and his sidekick, Monkey.

[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]:the pain of getting my eyes pierced. being disliked. or forgotten. and stupidity.

[Do you like candles]:not really. what's with them anyway? i do hear judy anne loves em. it reminds me of brown out. which turns out to be a non valid english word. (true and funny call from office)

caller: my tv wont turn on.
dumb agent: is it brownout?
caller: brown what?
dumb agent: brownout.
caller: are you from some other country?
dumb agent: no im from america.
caller: *hangs up*
dumb agent: ano problema nun?

[Do you believe in a thing called love]:i wish someday someone would establish that this is a fact and not something you wanna beleive in.

[Do you believe in soul mates]: i believe in people. and personal interests. and when these get together. i do math.

[Do you believe in love at first sight]:and he screamed in cubao. of an unforgotten love. that he never dreamed nor spoke of ever. but he has left. and became a driver in texas. no i dont believe in love at first sight.

[If you could have any animal for a pet]: a puffin. or a very angry turtle.

[What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]:breakfast. hickory spare ribs. someone's long hard... wait, i do believe in love at first sight.

[Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]:randell. my god son. ashlee. i plan on buying him a fully poseable hulk toy. this 700 peso toy is amazing. i'm a buy one myself.
LAST TIMES[Cried]big fish. the bathtub scene. "i dont think i'll ever dry out"

[Gotten sick:]sick is a word i'd like to make over.

[Felt stupid:]funny. i never do. (?!)

[Hugged someone:]i wish i could remember. wait. si [ethan].

[Talked to someone you have a crush on]:wow. let's see. a while ago at krokodile. but it's more of a "had" a crush on. kampai kirsh!

[Fought with your parents:]i never fight with them. i dont deserve to.

[Dreamed about someone you can't be with:]everyday. with all these men. uh!

[Do you like being around people:]eat de fence. sometimes i'd rather be smoking alone. pondering about someone i cant be with.

[Who have you known the longest:]so far kirsh. it's long. really long. kidding. where do these questionnaires come from anyway.

[who do you argue the most with:]myself. isa pa bang beer? o kaya ko pa?

[Who do you always get along with:] circumstance. luck. i am friends with inebriety.

[Who is your hero?]my shoulder devil. and people who make sense. and are fun. and are kooky.

updates and julawins

2004-08-06T06:25:00.000+08:00

Angel Locsin in Mulawin : ironic. she plays someone who was raised human but with concealed wings *angel na may pakpak, duh* (pwede na siya mag endorse ng whisper, and nope, i just caught one episode, i swear, and by that one episode, i think i know whats gonna happen next, damn, we all do) which kinda reminds me of Daimos. "Richard" Guttierez is paired with female with wings (Erica). on the wings of love, Moony's dove. everything is about love and birds.

**

Marissa Sanchez : underrated comedienne. this one scene where Bearwin Meily and Marissa Sanchez was plotting on burning someone's house was truly horrendously funny. they were both bird-forms and they were hiding by the tree branches. while serious and being their evil, plotty selves, Marissa Sanchez was making that Woody Woodpecker sound. Weh he he HEH he! Weh he he HEH he! Weh he he HEH he! potang ina! aliw! i laughed for 5 minutes straight. and while laughing, i was imitating the stupid sound effect which prompted my brother to throw the remote at me.

**

new crush : Eddie Mendez. i *caught* an episode of Daisy Syete (sige tawa!) and saw a yummy, ripped shirt, and very rrrripped torso Eddie running for his life while being chased by the Evil Serpentina (lame). i wish we have that running scene in rrreeeeealll slow mo, as i watch his tight chest bouncing, hair flowing like a waterfall, muscles flexing as each step was made. and i wish he was running slow mo to me. hehhehehehehe.

**

HTS: very addicting. im starting to realize that i am always amazed and hypnotized by home tv shopping commercials. ive seen the the trick, ive seen what it does, ive heard the testimonials, ive heard the fake audience reactions, and yet i cant stop watching it. damn! i can be self centered sometimes. theres, Rosy Ariola, George Foreman's Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grill Machine (or something), The Rotato (?) or was it Potator (?) basta it peels and strips potatos in one swift motion without the hassles of cleaning up (shet nahawa). there's the Chinese Scar Removal, Diet Pills, and Height Enhancers. its pure humor. i am most definitely amazed (btw i used to hate the word *amaze* nahawa lang ako ke kirsh) by Restore 4 that will definitely do wonders for my damned-to-hell bathroom.

but wait there's more...

**

Allan: new office friend. i have a new PLU friend in our office. i made friends with him the first time when i saw him in malate. after that malate night, we bonded in the office and the only thing we talk about are boys. hehehehhehehe. turns out we have the same office crushes, the same PLU-dar and nothing more. what worries me is that he is kinda on the "tukling" side of the PLU fence. which is not always greener i might say. but is kinda greener since you wont have to deal with people asking you "where's your girlfriend" because people already kinda know. i also became much much enamored with him when i found out he speaks La Espanyol. Chulo!

**

more kajologan updates soon.i miss odders. specially that guy way over yonder. Go Yankees! mishu jazzy!

toink's little instructional booklet

2004-07-12T08:43:00.000+08:00

Find your inner pig

Never forget to stop and smoke the roses

You're 23 years old. It's time to make mistakes

I am a victim of my own design. Everything is my fault

Never stop thinking. Dreaming. And believing that there's no such thing as multiple orgasm in 5 minutes.

I will always have a second chance to fuck it up again.

Never take yourself serwoosly.

Conformity is cheap. Haggle.

Be unique. Like everyone else.

Though there are, always assume that no one loves you. So start loving yourself. Then stroke it like a samamabitch.

Be silly. Be kooky. Be drunk. Monkeys!!!!!!

Listen to no one else's inner voices but yourself's

Promise yourself to learn a new language. So it's easier to acces foreign pornsites.

Always believe in something even if that something is nothing to da batrum en da kitsen en da knee. New knee, Knew nee, nuni nu ninu ninu

The measure of a man is, this is kinky, i cant continue.

Dogs, she-males and poor people are human too. Learn tolerance.

There's a billion others better than you. Learn denial. Or sarcasm.

God created gay. God also created homophobia as damage control. (heheheheheheh)

I am my dad's sperm. Always thank him.

Always count to nine when pain is felt. (I'm not sure if this is true, but it is said that all kinds of pain in the world only lasts a good 9 seconds. And that any pain felt afterwards is pure self indulgence.)

My milskshake, I repeat, My milkshake. Is so much better than yours.

If it does not fit in your mouth, dont eat it. But if you wanna force it in, make sure it tastes good.

Your evil is strong. Learn to control it.

Being unstraight is not a curse. Being an ugly, boring, self-righteous and good for nothing unstraight is.

My time is now. But the "now" has already passed. SO my time is "a while ago". Tomorrow, my time will be "yesterday".

If it feels good, if it's just right, it's the devil.

Don't believe in God yet. Believe in innate goodness.

All tv shows will eventually be reruns. My life wont. Let's get crazy.

Love can wait. So can sterility, conformity, boredom, drugs, success, threesomes, faith, tubal ligation, and bungee jumping

I am a God of something.

There is always someone there to remind me. (Tada dat da da)

Make friends with people who know what they're doing.

When all else fails, uhm, you're screwed. Tough luck!

More beer, more honesty. More honesty, more fuck ups. More fuck ups, more beer! It's a vicious, vicious cycle.

Flirting is subjective.

Believe, do what you have to. It's your fucking life.

Die a happy motherfucker. No regrets.

so where was i

2004-07-02T15:34:00.000+08:00

in front of our village is another village. at the gate of said village is a small garden. in that small garden, instead of a "keep off the fucking grass" sign, was a sign that reads "Utos ng Diyos: Bawal Magasawahan Ang Parehong Kasarian" and im like... "where in the fucking bible would you find that?"

but then again, why do i give a shit?! im never gonna marry. hehehehehehehehe

**

at the mall, looking for chino's late gift, i heard the radio jock. and he commented "konsensya ang nasasaktan, pag lahat ng parte ng katawan ang nasasarapan." and the first thing i thought about was *ehem* kirsh. hihihihihihi. whatever happened to that guy?

**

i just got home from the office and my mom was watching tv. in one of the commercials, she commented, "puling oh. kamukha mo si jericho rosales" to which i replied with a Mister Pogi cliche just for the heck of it, "hindi ko siya kamukha mami, kamukha nya lang ako" to which she laughed like she never heard that joke before. i left the room and my brother was smiling like an idiot. he mustve overheard it.

**

there's this distant relative from my mom's side Efren. he "kinda" fondled me when i was a lil kid. he left and a few years later, his brother, Edward visited. who looks like him. i remember feeling queasy. nothing of that sort happened again. he left and more years later another brother came. a younger, hotter, stocky, mestizo version of the "E" brothers came. he was called Kano for obvious reasons. i had the hots for him. and would sometimes chill at the veranda so i could peek at him in his shorts or a towel.

im telling this story because Edward visited us again. he looked so old. balding, white beard, dark skin, tatoos on his chest. kinda reminded me of moses. i loved and hated those brothers.

**

yun lang. move on to other blogs. :D

white party rooooooooooocked!!!!

2004-06-27T14:11:00.000+08:00

yeah, but i wasnt there. instead i was at this guy chino's birthday shindig in the fabulous marikina.

i'll let the pictures do the talking.

Like kase ano eh, you know, i dont drink beer eh. its so yucky!

when arcy went down on ding, he realized how many inches it is

bon narrates his tale of syphillis while arcy tries to comprehend the horror

arcys eye infection worsened by the days

i dont know about you guys, but this is just, kinky

white party goers got lost and ended up in marikina

Kelangan pa ang imemorize yan?

one guy bent forward, and a guy at his back. also kinky

pare, yung swedish massage ah. lower, ayan, lower. aaahhhh.

Text Pair2 space Kissable Hair and send to 2366 (So Kissable)

arcy checks for cavities with his invisible mirror

dont ask

i see you, baby. yeah, cmon, whatchu got for me, flex that arms right there yeaaah

ilong ilong ilong ilong ilong ilong ilong, KILAY!!

mah name is ahnold dis is mah sahdkeek Sadeek

men who love to fuck you

more men who love to fuck you

nice strong arms and beer. my day is done

siamese fraternal twins joined at the head.

siamese fraternal octaplet joined at the head ang hirap siguro tumae nito

for more unedited pics (of that hot SMK bald guy with the nice arms)
check out photos.yahoo.com/bl*****1ph

you all know my user id right?

at ease!

2004-06-25T11:35:00.000+08:00

i dont know why. tinopak i guess.

i got myself some nice clean military cut. i felt like saluting everytime i meet someone i know or someone comments on it.

comment on the hair: Satanas!

check friendster for photos. ahihihihi

thats my sister in the other pic

im also bringing this digicam to sat contingent. thought mga hanggang 7 pm or so lang siguro ako. kitakits then!
mamaya is friday bed. il be there. sumulpot na lang kung susulpot aiiiight guys?!

seryoso?

2004-06-18T15:46:00.000+08:00

im starting to believe i have a serious drinking problem. and that's commuting. ahihihihihihi.

maghahanap na nga ako ng boypren na may oto. na moderate drinker. na cute. na sweet. na may tato. na may happy trail. na normal. na matino. na matalino. at higit sa lahat hindi ako iiwan at makikipagsapalaran sa ibang bansa. im so bored

toinks 0, beer 3

2004-06-18T11:54:00.000+08:00

imagine lush taytay. greys, greens and faded golds everywhere, from the drying fields of grass and concrete progress.

ayun. doon ako nagising. as in sa sidewalk. right beside the highway.

"huy. huy! ano nangyare sayo"

this old guy in a bike was waking me up.

i realized i just woke up in a sidewalk and as usual, i didnt know how i got there. first thing i did was feel my pockets. it amazed me that nothing was lost.

ang buong detalye mamaya sa frontpage.

oh well. what else is new?

eight ball challenge

2004-06-14T06:59:00.000+08:00

another boring day at the office. what's a boy to do? Let's ask the magic eight ball. woohoo!!

by next year lalaki na ba katawan ko, in a good way?
BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW (what the f...)

will i get lucky the next time i go to bEd?
IT IS CERTAIN (ako pa!)

will i get rich in a call center?
VERY DOUBTFUL (sabi na eh, better hone my torso grinding skills now)

are you fucking with me, mister eight ball?
MY REPLY IS NO (hmmmm... pakipot naman)

will i die tommorrow?
CONCENTrATE AND ASK AGAIN

ulet daw, will i die tommorrow?
BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW (knock on woody)

will i ever find true love?
SIGNS POINT TO YES (yes!)

mahal ba ako ni sungod?
YOU MAY RELY ON IT (bwuahahahahah sabi na eh. joke)

miss na ba ako ni stolich?
REPLY IS HAZY TRY AGAIN (ay? hindi ako miss ni loko)

miss na ba ako ni kirsh?
VERY DOUBTFUL (tsk. wala palang nakaka miss sa akin. lokohan na tong 8 ball na to)

mainit pa ba dugo sakin ni garppp
DONT COUNT ON IT (sana totoo to. :D)

will jasmine M.D. miss me when she leaves for US?
YES DEFINITELY (i'm sure she'll miss everyone)

meron bang may crush sa aken sa odders?
YOU MAY RELY ON IT (uuuuuy issue!!!)

meron ba akong crush sa odders?
AS I SEE IT YES (hahahahahahahha..... isssue!!!!!)

may mapapala ba sa 3-way relationship?
IT IS CERTAIN (sinungaling na 8 ball! pwe!)

pwede bang humina ang tawa ni ethan?
DONT COUNT ON IT (hahahahahahahhahaha! sabi na eh!!)

pinanganak bang balot si liquid_dreamer na naging tao lang lately?
IT IS CERTAIN (tinanong ko pa obvious naman)

miss ba ako ni pj?
IT IS CERTAIN (wala na. nagkakaulitan na)

si jagard ba ay sadyang hottie?
BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW (hanggang ngayon hindi ko alam ng meaning ng sagot na to)

may odder ba na ikakasal sa babae?
MY REPLY IS NO (ang umangal hindi isasama sa contingent)

pwera ke kahlee, may makakabuntis ba ng babae sa odders?
OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD (nag iisa paren si paldeng)

may odder bang mabubuntis?! hehehehe malay mo na
WITHOUT A DOUBT (hahahahahhahaahah!!! baka pigsa ang mabubuntis)

may straight ba sa odders?
YES (potang ina!!!!!!!! itakwil ang traydor!!! hahahahahahahahahah)

makaka fling ko ba si troy montero?
MY SOURCES SAY NO (pak you ka!)

tinuli ba ako nung grade 6?
IT IS CERTAIN (accurate siya. mahal ko na tong eight ball)

tatay ko ba talaga si eddie gil?
VERY DOUBTFUL (awwwwwwww...bummer)

may posibilidad bang ikamatay ko ang alokohol?
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO (my fate has been decided, hindi na ako iiniom)

minahal ba ako ni sef?
IT IS CERTAIN (i thought so. i felt it)

eh ang tanong mahal ko ba talaga siya?
CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN (eek)

ANO, MAHAL KO BA?
IT IS CERTAIN (i thought so)

randoms and gemorrah

2004-06-13T09:33:00.000+08:00

lately ive been off. distant. sick. tired. unfun. trying to be fun. moody. but only to myself. neither over nor under sexed. details will be for drunk talks. 3 people hate me. (i think) (i hope not) im not good with apologies. like i said to one before, but i do try.

trying to be sober. clean. de-uglifying myself. i just kinda wake up every other morning and exclaim to myself "ampanget mo"

trying to catch up on ye olde straighte ones. nothing has changed. and by nothing i mean a lot. people never seem to grow up. im never gonna grow up. let's never grow up. kampai!

trying to be unsick. i feel like i need to swallow 3 biogesics every day. it's like Veda from My Girl. she thinks she's sick so she visits this old doctor and tells him she thinks she's sick. that's me. i think im sick.

trying to distract myself from what's bothering me. which by the way i dont know shit about. that's what i think my problem is. i think i have a problem, but i dont know what it is, or im not sure if i really have a problem. heng?

trying to catch up on lost sleep. 6 hours a day is not bad. also not good. been dozing off on work lately. my quality assurance scores are clinging on to passing. not failing but not excelling either. im somewhere in the middle.

yeah, i guess that's my life right now. hazy. and fun because i try. dark. but coping, i guess. awake. and hopefully productive.

lonely but still smiling like a high teenager in the dark. choking the neck of a half full red horse bottle.

maybe it's a trick of the light

**

there are people you meet in life. people who help you get through. encourage you, make life worth your while. remind you of a life with so much brilliance, it's just swirling about in your fingertips when you want it.

and then there are people who are just good cock suckers. where do you fucking learn this?! Oral Sex 101? seriously! guys are getting better and better in this.

though with this tidbit (ahihihiih) of information, i also came upon a sweeping generalization that i will have to make. guys, a little on the heavy side, do have "short-comings". and guys with large jaws are very much gifted. /me batoks self.

**

i just finished watching Grave of The Fireflies. it depressed me. in a good way.

**

i also caught Teen Titans the other day. it made me wanna be robin. or one of the writers. it's so laugh out loud funny. very fresh. very anime-ish. nabilib ako. for an american cartoon, it's so japanese. so japa-nice.

**

flowers. my flower. i'm sorry about the other night. i tried calling you three times now. to no avail. i will try to call you again as soon as i post this.

**

song of the minute
Sublime - River of Babylon
it's kinda folk kinda reggae kinda alternative sung by a band whose vocalist is known for being a junkie. and who happen to die of drugs. how sad. song good though.

Hay yay yay pag ibig...

2004-06-07T10:01:00.000+08:00

a textversation

june 1
dennis: 2nd anniversary na namen! ang ganda ko noh?!
toinks: 2nd aniversary? parang yung sa kantang "humanap ka ng panget"
dennis: PUTAH KAAAAAAH!!!! (of cors u olready know dat)
toinks: Congrats men! bilib!
dennis: Thanks, Pao (smiley)
toinks: Pakiss?
dennis: hmmm. sige. smack.

june 7
toinks: Tanong. Ano sikreto ng lasting relationship? Pwera flinging heehheheh
dennis: Malaki titi ko. Buwahahahahahhahahaha!
toinks: Speechless.
after a few minutes
dennis: Seriously, contentment.

**

i was blown away by that last text. i just never expected to hear or read something like that from someone my age. someone who is obviously in control of himself. someone who knows what he wants. and stays. and seem genuine about it. i never really asked him but i guess it's a given. love must be at work here. though one must ask. is it really?

maybe there is such a thing as true love. or am i reading into this too much. can contentment translate to love?

**

contentment is contentment. love is love. Anna Dizon is Anna Dizon. and i, am crawling back to my jaded little pawikan shell. haaaaaay. kainggit.

whew!

2004-06-06T09:20:00.000+08:00

after waking up at his place
allan: so pano nga nawala phone mo?
toinks: huh? wait?! did i hear that right?
allan: kagabe. san mo nawala
toinks: fuck hindi nga?! the thought of losing yet another fone is suddenly dawning on me

toinks then bolts up from the bed and grab his pants that was hanging by the door.

toinks: shit shit shit. ano nangyare. obviously knowing nothing. how typical
allan: kagabe. nung nagkita tayo di ba, sabi mo kawawala lang ng fone mo. hindi mo na nga hinahanap e
toinks: fuck! malutong

toinks sits up by the chair and contemplates. how the fuck did this happen again
toinks: that was the fifth fone. tang ina tawag muna ako sa globe. papacancel ko muna.

allan grabs toinks' hand.

allan: mamaya na.

and pulls him into bed. toinks quickly recovers from it. and will plan on mourning over it later on. he then lays beside allan as his hand slipped under one of the pillows to get comfortable. his hand felt something familiar. a 3310 fone.

toinks: tang ina akin to a!!!
allan: hahahahhahhhahhahhahhah.

toinks then jokingly beats up allan.
it was a good joke. a wake up call as well.

american gods of beer and gay bashing

2004-06-02T06:10:00.001+08:00

im torn between reading neil gaiman's American Gods and um, not reading neil gaiman's American Gods. 461 pages long and no pictures might pose quite a challenge for me. i do get kinda lazy with paragraphs. both reading 'em and writing 'em.

i got the book from a friend on one of the red horse sprees i had during the week.

i'll give myself 3 weeks to finish it.

**

before said drinking spree commenced, the four of us were watching queer eye for the straight guy on cable. surprisingly they had a blast watching it. and i had a tough time explaining to them what the show is.

toinks: those five guys are all gay and they're going to make over this straight guy. as in clothes, yung pad, the works.

chino: ano kapalit?

arcy: rereypin nila sabay sabay yung guy. hahahahahahhahahah

**

bon: dude, ano ba yang pinanood nyo. i mean, i can understand toinks would watch this pero kayong dalawa?!

arcy: make over daw e. kelangan kong kumuha ng tips dyan

chino: dude di mo kelangan ng tips. kelangan mo ng basurero. ambaboy na ng kwarto mo e.

(one of the gay guys then start removing straight guy's shirt so he can shave off chest hair)

chino: ayan o, rereypin na.

**

i dont know. lately ive been to bored to write. maybe i'll get the writing juice back after reading said book.

**

or maybe too tired to write. im not sure.

**

i realized i cant tell a long continuous story. mostly fragments. or thoughts on things. maybe that says something about my head, or my life. that i am fragments. not a story.

**

i finally agreed to the guys that i'd go with them friday night instead of the usual (bEd). but that was an agreement made while drunk. so hopefully they'll forget about it. /me crosses fingers.

**

i'm really having secinds thoughts on moving out. i dont know. im not sure. im also considering the fact that im getting less and less in my salary.

**

what's a good day job? since i work nights at a callcenter, maybe i should "sun"-light as a busboy.

**

when i was younger i've always to be a ~~merrman~~ ~~cosmonaut~~ ~~pediatrist~~ ~~precision driver~~ doctor. maybe i should start pursuing that. but then again to do so, i'd have to go through being a student again. haaaay life.

**

whatever and ever

2004-05-31T10:54:00.000+08:00

chino: si shok me saket

toinks: anong clase?

chino: may nakain yatang masama

toinks: mamamatay na?

chino: ewan ko. inom tayo?

toinks: off ko monday night

chino: bukas na yun a

toinks: honga eh. ano

chino: walang players. may mga pasok

toinks: so... wala.

chino: punta ka na lang dito. dalin mo hardisk mo.

toinks: what for

chino: gawin nating ashtray habang umiinom

toinks: tas pulutan si shok?

chino: hahahahahhahahahahaahah

toinks: masarap daw ang asong may breed.

chino:lul!

**

shok is chino's pulutan, i mean pitbull. they named him shok after it's mother's owner. the owner was a flaming homosexual. shoke. how mean. and funny. and ingenius. i wish i thought of that first

**

monday night in the philippines is memorial day in US. so it's a holiday. i've been looking a monday night fling happening. so far none has replied to my invite. what to do what to do.

**

i just got out of work and waiting for other co workers to come in. there was an impromptu swimming get together at one of the officemates place. swimming briefless, beer at noon, shaving newbies. my typical day.

**

was checking friendster and saw that one of my friends (who had invited me for a Greenbelt hanging out by 4pm later, which i might not attend) has 16 photos in his profile. asked him why and replied that friendster emailed him stating that his profile creates a net traffic due to its visitors and that friendster would upgrade his photos to 16. wtf? ako reeeeeen!!!!!

**

how do i how do i stir things with my profile. maybe is should start posting nudies. or underoo shots. or my ugly mug on full close up. i checked again said friend's profile and saw nothing interesting. must be advertising. ha!

**

excited over swimming. crush is coming. unfortunately said crush is female.

**

im really bored. im posting nonsense.

a much delayed montemar post

2004-05-26T13:07:00.000+08:00

19 thoughts
in order of appearance

toinks - thank god you found these people.
ajman - minahal ko nang husto ang cooking mo. and that ~~halter top~~ apron on you looked mighty hot.
ethan - thanks for the kirsh updates. and your loud infectious laughs
mravel - for the invite. for the lovely house. for the montemar membership. for the company. for the slow dance. the warm hug. the "alalays, akayin ang nasugpo ng gilbeys sa aking kama, madali!!!" or something like that. you know what i mean. you are always on my mind. ala AI.
tennister - man! somehow i'm starting to think you and i are brothers from a different mother. you rock!

garppp - man! tsk. how do i say this. i'm the guilty fucker who wishes somehow you'd go soft on one of these days. i am really really sorry man. (nakaw na hug)

kahli - you were the sleaziest! i love it!
liquid_dreamer - baloooooot! ni hindi man lang tayo nakapag usap ng maayos. we'll make up for it. nahilo ako sa duyan mo. at sa back hair mo. pa-wax tayo?
will_t - you were the quietest. thanks for trusting that i dont have athlete's foot and borrowing my slippers. ipag-iigib kita kung kelangan. (a reference to the fact that i took a shower ahead of him and almost used up all the drum water)
nuckd - i understand. people will ease up eventually.
d_alchemist - tsk! man! you'll get through this. that taxicab confession did something to me. and that toaster of yours enlightened things. keep strong. btw, you suck as dhalsim! pero natalo ka man sa final three ng AI mahal parin kita! a hug to most affected.
bench - patawa ka talaga! parang ang sarap mong ikahon at iregalo saken. mahal na kita pramis! mga hirit mong aliw. pwede ka nang comedy bar host. mga tipong pang side comment. aliw!!!
trip - dude! salamat sa house visit.
jaguarlord - someday i shall fight you and win. Shooooooooryukin!
stolich - iba ka! ewan ko.
mango - life of the party. panalo ang mga impersonations mo. thanks for making me laugh the hardest. isipin ko lang yung mga joke mo tumatawa na lang ako mag isa.
kugel - tang ina! mas nabilib ako nung nalaman kong fine arts pala to. lufeeeet. /me points at bead necklace. i want you to draw me wearing this. wearing only this. hehehehehe.
glendel - ito yung gusto ko maga one on one sa inuman. mukhang malakas tumoma to. bagay sa kalbo mong ulo yung flower sa tenga. hehehehehe.
jollieboi - ito yung second runner up for the quietest. i'll get to know you more someday one day.

afterthought

whatever happened those 2 days and 2 nights will always be remembered. kampai!

eeeek!

2004-05-21T08:25:00.001+08:00

1. i am finally moving out of what i believe they call home.
2. moving to further antipolo. catch: only one ride to libis as opposed to 4 from where i live now.
3. i am numbering this for no reason at all.
4. the folks dont know yet. but by monday im outta here.
5. it was a spur of the moment thing. and i barely know my housemate. bad idea sure. but hey. friends of my friends are my friends naren. wahtever
6. housemate is a chick. she has no parents or a family of her own.
7. the place rocks my pants!
8. name's michelle. and over a couple of red horses, we got along the first time we met.
9. it was chino's initiative. chick michelle was his girlfriend's girl-friend. and she is trying to run away from a live-in/terror bf.
10. i am so getting a salary loan.
11. i am doomed. and i'm loving it.
12. here goes nothing.

Jerrojerrojerropi Part 2

2004-05-19T08:36:00.000+08:00

this is the evil me posting a picture of hot cutie jerro. now beegee's ex.

ha! after, what, two weeks?

turns out, jerro is still hung up on ex of 4 years. broke up with beegee since ex, Inna, begged him to marry her.

how sad.

but look! jerro's shirtless!

life is so beautiful. i love working here.

haaaaaay.

let's all curse in our heads at jerro for being straight

troynks

2004-05-15T08:23:00.000+08:00

it was in new york when i saw him. short guy with tall upward hair. not so good looking. *kinda* my type. there was a sneaking suspicion that we have met before. and ajman confirmed it. "nakahalikan mo yan one time"

now i know why he felt so familiar. flashbacks started to queue in. though i had to dig deep into brain cells and dendrites, i still cant remember the guy. but i told myself "yeah, he is the type of guy i'd make out with, drunk or not"

we enter bed. it was sardines-packed. and i see him again. him and his small frame. tight shirt. upperlip hair. and a san mig light in one hand. i cant remember how exactly, but somehow i found myself dancing with him again. the feeling was repeated. so was a kiss or two hundred.

i had to touch him. smell his nape. thinking that one smell could make me remember. then dance. then he turns back. i dont let him go. then my right arms around his neck. with his back to my front. letting my lips graze his neck. his hair. then his cheek. then my left hand went south. to his waist. to only confirm what ajman says. "walang underwear" and yup. wala ngang underwear. my five fingers underneathe his shirt. tight torso. really small guy. then troy. brad pitt. nude scene. running in skirt. eric bana. slowly wearing his war gear. hairy chest. shit. toinks is going down.

this happens, maybe 3 or 4 times. same chronology. only different spots on dance floor. then it was time to go. so it was time to go. i never find out his name.

then i see him again outside. and i had to follow him. the purpose of which i still cant figure out. he is sitting down somewhere. smoking winston reds. i see him from a far. he sees me. i smile. i come near. i sit beside him. and just smiles. looks down on the cement. i didnt know what to say. because really, i didnt know what i was doing there in the first place.

we talk. all blurry. i mention seeing him before. he mentions he has a place, he has a headache, he has a ride, and his name was marvin. i gave the hint that i didnt want to go. his friend walks by. and off he goes. nothing was exchanged but a kiss.

walking away, a car drives by. cute but kinda old bEd frequenter driver guy shouts "need a ride?" "where do you go home to?"

toinks replies in a nice smile "antipolo. but i'm good" raises an open palm. "thanks anyway"

"you sure?"

"yes. thanks. i'll see you around though"

i'll see these guys around.

**

review on Troy

Orlando Bloom is such a pussy
fight scene between achilles and hector full of energy. wish i could rewind.
a running brad pitt in skirt. major turn on.
angry eric bana very fine. made me wish he'd turn green soon.
most disturbing scene. hector's baby with the giant head. did you all see the head on this baby?
paris says to helen "dont worry, i'll find you again in a different lifetime" havent found him yet.
ending. bitin. kinda like eating a siopao without the white paper that sticks at the bottom.
kinda like this post

finkaloo

2004-05-12T09:18:00.000+08:00

yesterday could be called a breakthrough for me. i realized that my wardrobe rotates around 7 articles of gimik/office clothing, 3 pants, 3 shoes and a fartridge in a fur tree.

so i decided to give greenhills a visit and splurge.

right after work at 10 am, i trailed off to the wonderful land of bargain, piracy, yummy clothes and vendors that reeked of kangkong or chicken joy.

fast forward to shoppesville

i had my eye on this black polo. medium. (back when i was a fat-ass i prayed to Buddha for that one day when i will be wearing a medium. that day has come) it was neat looking, classic design. stylish. i dont know what boccelli might say, but i know that if he were shopping with me, he'd encourage me to get it. so i tried it. and i looked ~~fabulous~~. like a movie star. Dennis Roldan maybe. or a young Tony Ferrer.

then my eyes wandered off into another wardobe. same design as the black one. only this time. pink?

black says class. elegance. boring. neutral. not fun. but good enough. makes me look thinner. very pro-fessionul.

pink says pink? hellow? pink? pinkaloo. syowki. ka federasyon ka na ba? pinaninidigan mo na ba yan toinks?

then i overheard the salesladies.
"lam mo lahat ng nagpipink gumagwapo.dumaan dito si blah blah blah naka pink blah blah may hitsura pala"

so i gave it a whirl. might as well try it.

and to my amusement/amazement, i remembered the Magic Kamison. or Blusang Itim.

potang inah! ang guwapo ko ngang naka pink!!!

me, in an unruly but gelled hair, stubbles meaner than Hitler, a goatee that every guy office mate adores, and a motherfucking pink polo, i looked all wrong. it felt wrong. and i loved that it felt that way. and as one friend's testi went, i was bizaare and collected.

so i buy the darned thing. that's the end of that.

final note. never mess with the man in the pink shirt.

tomorrow will be lesson on blush, mascara, pink lipstick and leg shaving. afaflu!!

My First Ever Serious Post About The Elections and Current Events

2004-05-10T05:12:00.000+08:00

"Hala! Sige, ayan oh, abutin nyo kamay ko. Hup, aaaaahhh, hup!!! Ahahahahahahah!"

**

"kahit hindi ako rehistrado, iboboto kita Ma'am Aunor"

**

thought balloon : Pwede kayang tumae dun sa mga urinal ni BF.

**

"Ming-miiiing, miiiiing!! San na ba yung kinanginang pusang yan"

**

"Tignan nyo napalunan ko sa MTB! Si Ecko!!! haaaaaay!!!"

**

"Okay ha, This is what we call the Drunken Monkey Chop ha!"

**

"Taka, na lackjaw ata aka"

**

marquez:"amuyin mo na kasi dude"
manny:"ayoko nga e. galing sa pwet mo yan e"

**

Armpit shot. kinky.

**

The Hulk Pose. Turn off.

nuisance? di naman a!

2004-05-09T16:33:00.000+08:00

excerpt from a GMA news interview with THE presidentiable to beat.

Vicky Morales (VM): Ano po ang isang normal na araw sa inyo?
Eddie Gil (EG): Sabado. (hahaahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahaha!!!! fuckerrrrrr!!!!!!!)

**

VM: Ano'ng pangalan ng tatay niyo?
EG: Ay, nde ko pedeng sabihin.
VM: Bakit naman?
EG: Masyadong sentimental. Pag binanggit ko yun, mawawala lahat ng nasa isip ko.
VM: Pero patay na siya?
EG: Oo, pero nakikita ko pa. Pag gusto ko siyang makita, nakikitako. Saka
nagbibigay din siya ng instructions sa akin, para sa mgaginagawa ko.
VM: Ha, paano? Sa panaginip?
EG: Oo, sa panaginip. Minsan, isinusulat din niya sa blackboard. (pukinang inang kaululan to!! ano bezzzzzz?!?!?!)

**

VM: Magkano ang net worth nyo?
EG: Yun nga, papaunlarin natin ang Pilipinas.
VM: Hmm, yung net worth nyo po. Magkano?
EG: Yun nga yung una kong gagawin, aayusin ang Pilipinas.
VM: Yung net worth po.
EG: Ano'ng net worth?
VM (nanlumo sa sagot): Hmm.. yung halaga po ninyo, yung halaga ng mga ari-arian nyo?
EG: Ah, hindi ko masasabi kung magkano ang halaga ko.

**

VM: Isa po sa plano nyo yung gawin dollar ang currency ng Pilipinas.
EG: Oo, gagawin nating Philippine dollar. Bakit yung ibang bansa,dollar ang
gamit. Ang Korea, may Korean dollar. Ang China, CHinesedollar.
VM (confused na): Dollar ba ang gamit ng Korea, hindi ba Won? Saka ang China, Yuan di ba?
EG: Dollar din yun.

**

to eddie. it was fun while it lasted. i will always have fond, fuzzy and warm feelings for you and your hair.

hang-ups on all things oral

2004-05-08T13:42:00.000+08:00

i remember or i think it was freud who came up with the oral stage. that stage in your childhood where everything relies on your mouth.

it is in this stage that you are breast fed, nurtured and given life. in other words, loved. with breastfeeding, you feel your mom's heartbeat. and that heart beat is the rhythm that tells you you are loved. taken cared of. nurtured

i was never breastfed.

this would explain a lot of who i am. and no matter how farfetched it is, here are some thoughts on why i think i have oral stage hang ups.

* i love music. i love beats. i cant stand it when it's quiet. i love steady rhythm. house music. regular beats. with regular patterns. and somehow i believe that this liking for music spawned from wanting my mom's heartbeat. that somehow i'm looking for a love that was never shared.

* kuyakoy. people would always comment that i do this a lot. they would then imply that i was bored, anxious or horny. sure i can be all those. but it really means nothing (or does it). kuyakoy is this regular, unconscious jerking of the leg. there's something about it that makes me feel like i was being lulled. it comes out naturally. so it must mean that my need to be loved comes out naturally too.

* there was a stage in my life where i was ~~a fat ass~~ 150 lbs. in other words, i put everything in my mouth.

** i have the tendency to chew pens. or straws. or ice.
** i smoke a lot.
** i tend to chew on the inner skin of my lower lip
** i suck! we all know what this means. hehehehehehe
** i like to work my partner up with my mouth (eeeps!) like biting, nibbling licking etc.

* well i am unstraight. maybe i shunned my mom for not giving me love. and that the idea of finding love from a woman is fruitless for me.

in conclusion, let me just say, that sef has finally left manila. and i fucking miss him.

nothing i can say, lunar eclipse of the heart

2004-05-05T04:08:00.000+08:00

remember beegee the chick office mate who once said he's falling out of love with his boyfriend of 2 years, pao?

they broke up.

every now and then she'd come to me and wear this wide happy smile. she seem really happy. and she's also, btw, smitten with this other guy from a different department, jerro. a cute boy type. guitar player. very clean. very daring fashion sense.

they are kinda dating. or seeing each other.

(distinction, according to the kampai boys : seeing each other means KKB, dating means the guy pays for everything, the bill, the movies, motel, whatever)

in my head, i have this wierd urge to ~~steal jerro from her~~ ask her if she misses the ex. but logic and common decency allows me not to. all i know is she's happy. and i am definitely happy that she finally is.

is jerro the one?

who the fuck knows? and why do we care? and why do we even ask? not everything leads to marriage. i dont think people actually goes into a relationship looking for the one. young people who do that are immature. (methinks) and sad.

she knows what she's getting into. isnt that the point?

i'm just gonna have to be there if things fuck up.

you go beegee. love love. live life.

**

i was kinda rooting for pao, the ex. he's this quiet frat boy, tatoos all over. he used to sport a dreadlock. very strong presence. smiles too much for a reggae/rocker/fratboy. but he's cool. and it feels like he loves her so much. theyve been together for so long. but as the song goes. ...everything good need replacing...

jerro, on the other fist, is this sweet, overall nice guy. also into music. a tamer, cleaner and cuter version of pao.

will they last? clincher

**

ive been hearing around the office that there's a mean eclipse tonight that'll last upto 6 am. this i've got to see. no wonder ive been horny all this time. there's some lunar phenomenon happening. and it's ~~fucking~~ screwing with my system.

**

was it ever true that the moon's gravitational pull is cause of lunacy? where did i hear it that people do crazy things on full moons because the moon also pulls the liquids in your brains. henceforth, the term lunacy.

**

everyone made a fuss about it. it's just the moon. with the earth's shadow. moonshadow. boring. it would have been interesting if the shadow was actually a dark bird-being devouring the moon for some couple of hours. then spitting it out after the locals have prayed and offered a sacrificial virgin. heck, they could offer me. hehehehehehe

**

while i was looking at the moon, it did make me feel... ~~fucking horny~~ strange. it made me want to drink. or sit down on the grass. stare up and smoke doobie. and while "shotgunning" an office mate, he'd move in real close that our noses touch, then the tips of our lips touch. then the gapes of our mouths would just lock. tongues swirling about. pushing each other away. while our arms keeps drawing each other close.

**

i blame the moon for all these.

On the Seventh day... God made beer

2004-05-03T15:59:00.000+08:00

the kampai boys and i drank red horse. my treat.

kampai boys include arcy, bon, chino, ding, olesco and toinks. gboy was missing.

(i wonder why i get more drunk in malate than with them)

chino motherfucking bought a pitbull. 5 months pa lang and already that gigantic. pukinang inang aso yan. i'd give it 3 months. chino cant even take care of a plastic plant

ding came late. he wore pants that he rolled up to his shin. arcy had to comment : "dude, saang kapatagan ka naman nag araro?" he wore this cute tight shirt that hugged his torso really good. drool. i never drool on friends, but this ding guy we're not really close. so drool!!!

bicol boy olesco came late too. he had this scruffy look. mukha na siyang probinsyano. tsk. i better save this guy from Penshoppe hell. cutie cutie pa man din yun. he just graduated so he'll be staying in manila for good. whooopeeee!!! scanner access!!! plus acces to tons of old comics, gaiman shit, and anime stuffs.

bon came late. clean looking as usual. safe haircut. one sided. as always. conio type. in the middle of the inuman, he was telling me how THE mike arroyo comes over his place to talk to his dad. (dad's a cop) and how the first gentleman convinces copdad to scare FPJ camp. tsk tsk tsk. i smell trouble. and btw bon never lies. though he can get cocky at times.

**

chino brought out the guitar. and hell broke loose.

imagine 5 tipsy angry men. belting out One Sweet Day. with not a Mariah high note missing. tang ina!

imagine 5 buzzing mad men. taking turns in lines from Eheads' Magasin. i'm amazed everyone knows this song.

imagine 5 drunk men. singing Joe's No One Else Comes close. awwwwwww. i used to hate that song. mahal ko na siya. at si ding. hihihihihihihi

imagine a drunk kampao, singing Bob Marley's Waiting in Vain. oooooohhh..ooohh ohhh oohhh....oooohhhh...ohhhh... i dont wanna weeeheyt in vain for your laaaaahav!

imagine a 5 month old pitbull being set free and vandalising every plant along the way. and the table. and my shirt. and arcy's right arm. and ding's chair. one word comes to mind. kulit. ang kulit potah.

imagine a drunk kampao, after much convincing, to show the guys what bEd dance is all about.

and imagine these motherfuckers try and imitate.

**

it ended with us planning yet another tagaytay trip which will soon be forgotten. or was it a resort somewhere near. these guys.

**

chino told me he's seen an episode of QAF. didnt interest him.

arcy, olesco and i are still giving the "living together in a pad" idea a chance. i'm so making ipon for this. heheheheh i'd rather have them as roomies than my cow/brother

bon left early to trail off to taft and meet a fuck. Betchez before Niggaz huh?! tablado to.

ding was first casualty. he must have gotten tired from all that strumming. he also says that drinking beer actually makes him work out harder in the gym the day after. (he owns the gym btw) beer has carbs. whatever.

olesco shares my interest in Kevin Smith and comics. so malamang sha ang date ko sa Jersey Girl. (that didnt sound right)

to be updated later. burgers calling

strike

2004-05-02T08:21:00.000+08:00

311 is a band that i have always loved. imagine my surprise when i found out they've revived The Cure's Love Song.

puchang ina! i was brutally stirred. excited. hindi ko kinaya ang kilig.

as soon as i was headed for work, i kept wishing that one my office mates have this song stored somewhere in each their pc's.

and hey, whadayaknow?! meron!

in between calls, i'd start playing the song. when a call came in. i stop the song. start all over again once call is done. it was all i ever did think about that night.

i never finished the goddamn song. without interruptions.

as i logged off work, all i ever thought about was heading straight home. turning on my pc and listening to that song on repeat play. i was never this excited over one song.

by tomorrow. most probably sawa na ako. but it will always be one of my favorites.

whoever said hearing "i will always love you" in a song is sappy.

**

yeah me too, i found ~~solis~~ solace from kirsh. kampai friend!

**

doc's solace is a different one. i was sitting right there by his bedside. ~~panting~~ recalling how we became friends. and i was smoking. ~~i always smoke after a good sex~~ i always smoke when i'm doing nothing. and the whole time i was thankful to have that kind of friendship. kampai doc! ur the best kuya! (even his dad calls him kuya) "Ana, Tubeg" heheheheheehheh

**

seeing will_t again was like, "whoah. uy ~~kalbong cute~~ si piolo ba yun?" then he came closer, and i instantly recognized him. what a surprise. kahit ako kinilig. i can only imagine how garppp was feeling. he was brimming with excitement. it's almost contagious.

**

you ever get that feeling that you want to write. and you dont want to write. or you just cant write. because you dont know what to write.

**

i cant make a decent post out of what happened friday night.

so i wont.

**

are all taxi drivers natural smooth talkers?! i seriously believe that to be taxi driver, one must possess, remarkable driving skills, kaalaman sa pasikot sikot, sirang radio at smooth talker-ship. as i sat there by the driver's side, i got so disturbed by the scent and spoketh ~~"boss ikaw ba yung mabaho?"~~ "boss, pwede palaksan ng aircon?"

**

May na! maybe i'll post an April farewell post. me and my promises. ha!

naaaaaah.. tapos na yun. it's better left forgotten.

**

browsing through odder's blogs. i realized how great writers they were. makes me proud to be an odder. i am in the company of greatness.

**

i'm thinking about taking up a sport. i'm thinking about ~~turkish oil wrestling~~ boxing. hmmmm... interesting.

coming soon

2004-04-30T08:50:00.000+08:00

things i would write about this week. and just so i wont forget

Texan Boy/Office Mate Jay and how i missed him
My Office Kampai Gurls and Tampon Talks (ganun pala yun)
Mala Telenobelang pagiibigang Steve and Amanda. (Te Amo, "Please, anything but my clit")
Ang pagtangkad ni Jayson. (sana may iba pang humaba sa kanya)
My motherfucking 5 digit salary ulit. (i wish i deserved this)
Ang Mamatay ng Dahil Sayote (makabayan, makagulay)
Shut Your Fucking Face Uncle Fucker. (ang natutulog na ulam)

and other ramblings.

for now matutulog na muna ako at maghahanda sa pagiinum mamaya.

haaaaaaaaaay. namiss ko ang beer.

kampai all y'all!!!

joss ko po!!!!!

2004-04-28T12:18:00.000+08:00

co worker joenell warned me about it weeks ago.

joenell is this fat short and stocky little kid who used to be the odd man out when my batch started in c-cube. the group eased up to him and eventually became a pal. kupal that is. he does this random faux-capoeira dances, makes green jokes at whim, loves porn and is the only one who appreciates my kinda music in the office.

so anyway, he's actually one of the extra joss addicts in the office. and brags that it actually makes him thrice as horny.

i tried it myself last night. i needed to break my 500 peso bill. so i bought some candy, a pack of winston lights, spam-de-sal and 5 packets of extra joss at the 7-11 nearby.

of course i didnt believe him at first. and after that 5 packets. i have become a believer.

putang ina! right in the middle of the call, i was so wide awake. 5 times as randy and was doing my best to keep this one american caller from shutting up. he had this husky voice. like brad pitt's. by the bedside in a dim room. whispering nonsense.

our office has this red ergonomically designed chair whose back support kinda bends backwards.

so i was just laying comfortably there, my butt at the edge of the seat, my legs were stretched forwards and kinda bent, my nape was resting at the top of the back support. my eyes were closed, head facing the ceiling, and my fingers were clasped together right at the back of my head. the kind of sit you'd do when you're tired. but i wasnt. i was supremely horny.

in this position, while unattentively listening to brad pitt, i was fantasizing someone was sitting on me, facing me, legs apart, with his hands on my shoulders. his body leaning towards mine, as he readies himself for a kiss. and i. i just sat there. his master. not a care in the world. he is breathing heavily into my face, he smelled like orange and musk. as his head slowly goes down into my face. he didnt go for my lips, he went straight to my right collar bone, sometimes biting on the skin, sometimes licking on the bone, as his left ear was brushing up against my right cheek. his hands released my shoulders, slips its way into the small of my back, while his lips slowly travelled from my neck, to my stubbled jaws, to my cheek and finally. it locked with mine.

only then, did i realize that i've already sported a boner. i lazily grabbed one of the mini pillows lying around, covered my crotch with it. and resumed with the office fantasy.

he then pulled away. and played the staring game, while his four fingers started slipping themselves into the waist of my pants, the thumb pressing and twisting only to unbutton me.

and like cat claws on a chalkboard, fucker joenell, shrieked, "Dude! yung handling time mo?! 15 minutes ka na jan!!"

that motherfucker!!

(bukas ulit)

**

i just realized that when i write, i dont know how and when to use a comma or a period.

**

this guy Moe, from the office, i swear to god, is so into me.

**

for two straight days, i went home with a guy. (hehehehehehe its not what you think) there's this guy kervin, who has a car, who happens to drive by my route and who happens to have the same schedule as mine, offers me a ride. shotgun!!!

**

he has a twin by the way. karlo. they dont look alike. and he went to grade school with my brother in lsgh. they met again in friendster. small fucking world.

**

in the car, i couldnt help but reminisce (eto na naman ako) how i used to ride shotgun with sef. and how we played nothing but wave 89.1 when we're together. save for some instances when i press "6" for NU107. or "5" for K-lite on his FM preset stations. haaaaaaaay.

**

my three straight buddies actually met one of the odders a few weeks ago. chino, one of them, then texted me just this second. "duuuuude! kamusta na kayu ng fafa mu?" that fucker. i replied with "eto nagkakalat paren sa bed" i'm still waiting for a reply.

morning after

2004-04-26T14:03:00.000+08:00

i was telling papu that mornings after i drink, i get this weird "sad-depressed-kinda off-empty" feeling. it makes me reminisce.

think about people i loved. like really really fall head over heels. and people who broke me.

yup, i realized, he really did break me. but i only think about this on morning afters.

soon enough. i'll be back to reality. but right now, let me relish at this feeling.

**

i wish i were washing his hair. softly. while he's lying comfortably. smiling at me. and im smiling at him back. all to the tune of Aaron Neville's Crazy Love.

it was a crazy love.

**

im always worried i'm going to forget his face. it's starting to happen. i dont even remember where the scar on his eyebrows is exactly.

**

or how his hands crawl up to mine. when we're watching Scooby Doo, Minority Report, Life Or Something Like It, Finding Nemo and many other movies that i will try to recall. and when he hears "i love you" said onscreen, he'd squeeze my hand.

**

or how, after one drunken night, we got to my place, sneaked into the living room. to our left was the door to my sister's room, to our right was my parent's room, and right beside us was the stairs to the kitchen. but i didnt care. i just screwed him right there on the living room floor. mahuli na kung mahuli.

**

or how when he's driving. on our way to fetch something, i'd slide up to his right ear and whisper sweetnothings. like "i'm gonna fuck you later" or "san mo gusto?" to which he'd reply with a boner.

**

i miss that motherfucker.

Good Morning Post

2004-04-24T08:18:00.000+08:00

last night's contingent. uber fun.

got home and remembered everything. nothing missing. and was conscious enough to plan to buy m2m porn by the streets of aurora. backed out. and went home sad. hehehehe

people who did not come. mga supooot!!! :D

met tennister for the first time. he looks like bam aquino. ow-som singer. very turned on. minor crush will eventually die out in seconds. 4..3..2..1...

which odder have i not met yet. still finding this out.

gb3. place very confusing. spent minutes looking for food choices.

trailed off to cable car. waited a few minutes for a table. and checked out cable car imports.

place swarming with young foreigners. all drinking beer. or kahlua. isnt there a law for minors drinking?

hogged three tables for around 13 odders. ordered san mig draft. and drinking spree commenced.

kept wishing garpp would show up. contingent kinda empty without "leader". found out he was marching that night. cursed him in my head for not inviting us.

sandwiched by stolich and mrav. very disconcerting. very warm. much appreciated. nice to know people like me for who i am.

san mig draft. my new favorite. though i have sneaking suspicion i might not order this again. makes me smell like chico. unlike san mig light.

asked d_alchemist a question about stolich. to which he replied, "i have heard this before" i laughed like a hyenna. and i took back the question.

sang a sex bomb girls and beyonce song. girl at next table. very much amused by odders.

fyro's departure kinda saddening. broke my heart to watch kirsh and him hug. but kept thinking it was for the better. felt so bad i needed the hug myself. hihi. fuck. dont we all just hate goodbyes. but was later on assured it wasnt permanent

3 odders set on bEd visit. 7 went. have very strong convincing skills. might be a salesman one day.

7 odders cramped in one taxi. very kinky. very much aware of each others breath and stink. though none did stink. but me. chico flavored. kept hoping no one complains.

got to bEd mildly drunk. drunk enough to plan on kissing babyface bouncer. though not drunk enough to actually do so. (damn that san mig draft)

bEd music, very high-inducing. found out how much i have missed bed as soon as music flooded ear lobes. people were so much more good looking than i remembered. though i was much more aware than odder company than bEd goers.

moony's song dove, makes me reminisce. song was played, and had to grab kirsh and dance with him. something about the song that makes me want to share this one dance with him. hope none of the odders mistake this for, uhm, something else.

odder's concern, very heartwarming. all night, odders kept reassuring that i was okay. how very brotherly. thank god for them.

saw joma again after a long time. grade school friend. he lent me a shredder action figure then. he gave me a warm hug that night. and comments crassly about grade school teacher Mr. Avecilla.

Mr. Avecilla used to be so hot. wonder how he looks like today. i bet he's gay.

held hands with liquid_dreamer while squeezing our way into the men's room. saw Jaya (yes the singer) by the corner and told LD "watch this" as i walked up in front of jaya, kissed her cheeks said, "i love you" and just walked away like nothing happened. celebrities can be so full of themselves and their fame that they'll let that one act go. LD actually thanked me. i still dont know why.

kept wishing stolich would reconsider and make an appearance. tsk. bEd kinda sad without diva in the house.

watched in shock, amazement and amusement as one odder was locking lips and swapping spit with stranger bald guy. will not mention who. heheheheh. that fucker! :D

hated him afterwards. but only one fourth meant. still love the guy. he deserved that action. hehehehe.

dissappointed that i cant think of anything else to post. may remember more stuff soon and post randomly.

very much thankful i got home safe

you guys are the best.

boy kampai and relationship hell 101

2004-04-23T09:07:00.000+08:00

hellboy is so gay themed.
1. rupert evans looks like a belami star. he was so pretty i cant look at him.
2. the hospital was named Bellamie
3. one of the fight scenes was at a subway station. the station was Palmer.
4. hellboy, muscular and all red. /me then starts to stretch and lean back. hehehehehehehe
5. hellboy's capture scene, kinda S&M
6. hellboy and father figure, kinda deep and touching. what every gay guy needs
7. evil monster in the end, kindofa phallic symbol.
8. lotsa references to two eggs.
9. sucking on a fat tobacco, real turn on.
10. assassin's complicated face mask and head gear. also phallic-ish

**

i had a talk with a friend about relationship. boring stuff really.
it went something like:

with a normal straight typical relationship, it's the female that does the nagging, the guy doing all the "bawal ka dito" "hindi pwede" "bat di ka nagpaalam" "san ka nagpunta" overprotective etceteras (yeah girls also do this but it's the guys' that counts and actually becomes a big deal)

so what about two guys?

some guys just dont get it that there are two men in a gay relationship. walang girl, walang quote unquote inaalagaan at binebeybi. you "should" love him how you would love a guy. he's a guy! he can take care of himself. so in other words...

**

i suddenly have no urge to go to bEd. antok lang sana to.

**

i was talking to amanda. office friend. kinda my faghag. i told her "parang gusto ko magka boyfriend. na hindi. na ewan" i like the way this woman thinks. she replies with "are you ready?" loooong pause. "but then again, are we ever really ready?"

i'm not ready. or i dont know. or i dont want to find out. or i think i dont want to find out. deep inside. somehow. im just waiting for the right guy to emerge from a pool of blood (hellboy reeference). and wink at me.

i'm probbly just like paldeng. i dont do relationships. (or i THINK i dont) whatever

amanda by the was has this long distance thing going on. they were talking on the phone about missing each other and the guy actually said "i'm shelling out two thousand dollars just to see you again and fuck you."

awwwwwwww. how sweet. <-she actually said this too

**

beegee on the other hand, another female co worker, comes up to me. and in this pacute sad baby voice says "Paaaaao, Sad akoooo!" "bat naman?" "parang sawa na ako" i laughed

she's in a 2 year relationship. also with a guy named pao. (all the paos in the world have all the worst luck)

knowing beegee. i encouraged her to think things through. sure you'll feel that. i said. you just have to kinda remember what made you fall in love with him. do something new. pa spa kayo sabay. spice things up. you're only saying that.

one day she'll sit in one dark corner. smile and just realize what she really wants.

**

i, myself, have never ever seen a perfect couple. what, then, is my idea of a perfect christmas, este couple.

*bagay sila or everyone says, "alam mo bagay kayo" with a smile. as in everyone.
*they're really into each other
*parehong trip. but not all.
*kung mag away, bati agad, waitaminnit. my idea of a perfect couple, are those people who know each other so much, that none of them will actually come near a fight, because they understand each other. the only reason, i think, couples fight, because they dont understand each other. so
*they're really good friends. like, they finish each other's sentences. can fart in front of each other and laugh after. brush with the same toothbrush. accept each other's 'toyo'. i'm starting to realize that i'm thinking about my straight friends while writing this.
*sex life is animal. sensual. exciting. always experimental. raw.
*forever in the "honeymoon stage"
*rational. practical. and the reason why they are a couple is because they make sense together, apart, and to each other. but they dont know it.
*they never get tired of each other.
*ewan, basta, it's really hard to explain. mahirap ngang mangkahon ng bagay or idealism.

(this deserves a different post of its own. for now, that's all i could think of)

in other words, i'll never find the perfect couple.

doctor! i need a physical.

2004-04-21T09:14:00.000+08:00

there's something about medicine that i cant quite figure out. it used to be that when i get sick, i'd sleep it off. come morning, i'm better. i never trusted medicine. it's so "fake" and unfair. i still believe in the fact that 90% of all medicine in the world is placebo. that people will heal themselves if they believe.

until last night. when i had too much acid in me belly. clinic doctor, kinda cute, said i needed simeco. it fucking worked.

moments later. i had muscle pains. para akong tatrangkasuhin. so i visited the clinic again. and complained "muscle pains" he then replies with "why? do you work out?" with a smile. ang mga doctor nga talaga o.

**

during my yosi break, a friend, arcy, invited me for Hellboy. ako naman tong si "namimiss ang straight-buddies", umoo. knowing i had work by ten pm. so we agreed that by 6 pm kami manonood. by 10 im off to work. at dahil minsan, gusto ko rin mang asar, i planned on bringing a guy along. hehehehehehe. the last guy they've seen me with was b00-beaR. the ex. let's see what happens.

**

by 7am today. i was out. muscle man paldeng texted me if i were free for breakfast. said yes, and trailed off to mcdo. we talked about the usual stuff. work, sex-life, odders, quattro night. he was wearing this neatly pressed green long sleeved polo. tucked in a very snappy black pants. he looked good for someone who had been in the office for 5 straight hours before his first one-hour breakfast. i felt and looked silly around him bringing a sling bag along, with a yellow duck stuffed toy barely fitting my bag. he laughed at it. (the duck was an office prize for people who had work on holy week) made me realize that i will never grow up. i'm peter pan.

**

he was telling me stories about boners, wet undies, sauna and fitness first. i almost came in my pants.

**

i gotta catch some sleep now. hellboy ito!!!

**

and to stolich. wala lang. mahal na kita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heheeheheh

Efren

2004-04-20T21:02:00.000+08:00

while eating Nissin YakiSoba Spicy Chicken with hard boiled egg, i recalled the nights that were.

Sunday night. an odder texted me that he wanted to go out. by then i was already headed for work. i was right there in libis when i got the message and as soon as i got it, i was already cooking up reasons for not going to work. i wanted to be with the guy. it seemed he needed the company.

i ended up cancelling it. i had withdrawn all my money from the atm, stored it somewhere in my baul, and had brought only 300 bux. i wouldve gone. i wouldve missed work for him. sayang.

Monday night. i was home getting ready for work. when anodder brodder texted me. he needs to go out and drink. i said i had work by 10 pm. but i was willing not to go to work to be with this guy. i called the office and cooked up a near-the-truth lie. something about someone dying. hihihihi. evil man.

in the end, he cancelled it due to relationship complications. i was cool with it, i can always cook up a follow up lie at work. i went to work and all is well.

two missed drinking nights. damn!

moral lessons i will SO miss work for beer. and a chance to be with good company. kampai you guys! you know who you are.

and this goes out to all of you. if you need anything... money, beer, company, doobie(kidding), tubero, minor pc troubleshooting, taga buhat, movie recommendations, load, date(i have contacts), escort, m2m porn. as in kahit ano, meron ako, or gagawan natin ng paraan. kampai!!

all you have to do is call, and i'll be there. you've got efren

Eminemineminem

2004-04-18T21:08:00.000+08:00

Master Vision

i have this weird way of jerkin off. wherein i can get off on so little jerking movements. like im not even doing it at all. i just twist my fingers in such a way that there's this pressure on one spot, i think of someone (or many many someones) and i just get off in 5 seconds flat.

i can do it with my shorts on. with people around. even in the office (at one point) and no one would know. (i could even be doing it right now as i write this)

this morning, i released myself of some protein. there were too much. too much that i looked like i peed myself. a bad sign that i'm not getting any lately. haaaay buhay.

** (one weird segue comin' up)

Marvin and Topz (a reply to ov3rboard's "Missed" post)

truth be told, marvs and topz are few of the people that i really really look forwad to when someone mentions an Odders Contingent (wag sana magselos ang doc) when i heard from someone they wont be coming, i did kinda get a tad dissappointed. (just a tad, everyone else's appearance plus the macho mug made it all better)

so i asked someone else. one didnt know. i asked another. said they wont make it. i asked another. and said they were somewhere else. i was asking almost everyone hoping to find a different answer. one mentions "Topz" or "Marvin" and i immediately butt in. "Ano, any word from them? Makakasunod ba?" naaaaaah.

topz then said he wont be coming. marvs was nowhere to be found. and no way to be contacted. but topz texted that he was talking to him.

and yeah, i did miss them. i cant and wont explain why i like them as a couple. but i do like them as one. and as i said before. couple or not, i wish them only happiness. and bliss. if you could only see these two kiss each other, ikwento ba daw???!?? even in the corner of my eye, i could see so much love (and monstrosity hehehehehehehe) mga ani-mahl!!!! hahahahahahahhaahhahah

random memory. cable car night. i think me and marvin walked topz to his office. while strolling along the dimly lit makati streets, lil kid marvin snatched a stray flower by the curbs and gave them to topz. awwwwwwwwwwwww...... even as i was completely inebriated, it melted me. seriously. that memory will always stay locked up here inside my heart. you guys!

**

Mravel22

and who cant forget ravvie. him and his sapa girls stint. as i headed to the office, all i could think of was our mini conversations about rodel. (i still cant remember if it was rodel or roden) and bald guys. his kuskos, piga, sampay dramatizations. his smile. his outrageous libido that is somehow reflecting mine. (somehow) and his "selos" effect with me and my fixation for the aforementioned Close-Up couple of the moment. i could also remember how i was teasing him that i have completely no recollection of that kissing episode, Cable Car night. and that i was willing to remember it again. heheheheheheh. i miss this guy badly. mahal ko nga siya talaga!

**

Margarita and Macho Mug

the night was flowing with macho mugs and margarita glasses. everyone was drinking, save for one who actually ordered ?ice cream? (ice cream? in a bar?) or was it halu halo?! pj, in the morning texted me he had menstrual cramps.

see?! thats what you get for not ordering beer, on a beer night! silly duck! :D

speaking of margarita, did you see paul's buddy?

he sat right next to me, so friendly little me stirred up a conversation. i kinda asked who he was with, and if he was friends with paul. the boy gave me this stunned look, stood up, whispered to paul, came back to his seat and said "Yeah, he's my buddy!" hahahhahahahahahahahahah!!! how cute is that!!! how naively cute!!!!! but yeah, i guess he was just playing safe. in my head i was thinking about what he asked paul (knowing paul). and i came up with "Paul? Tayo ba?!" hhahahhaahhahahahahahaahhahahaah!!!!!!!

**

Mango79

carlo arrived with guests. one i like (along with everyone else, i think) one that doc likes (who looks like sherwin ordonez) and one that we all wished did not come (kidding)

they settled on the table right next to us. and althroughout the night, i swear to God, and Paul's margarita, that lil bald guy roden was playing the flirting game with me. there was this smouldering stare kinda look. it made me queasy. (and kilig, haba ng hair kong maiksi) and it made me uncomfy knowing this guy has a boyfriend of 1 year and 1 month and this guy's buddy is mango's best friend. i dont want to pull a "marvin" on him. not my style. heheheheheehehheheh.

but then again, i could all be just imagining this. i had one red horse macho mug. forget i wrote this. hehehehehe. kampai Marvin!! kampai Mrav!! kampai Mango! and Kampai to Masturbation!!!!! friday naman ulet! hehehehehe

life and death and beer

2004-04-17T19:05:00.000+08:00

lilly Anne is my dad's granddaughter from a previous marriage. lilly anne had a twin sister Carrie Anne. they dont look alike. and they were kinda my age. mid twenty's siguro. i forget.

i just heard today that she died. and it disturbs me, that i felt nothing.

maybe there are just things that you get over easily. maybe there aare things you just dont care about. no matter if you should. or you think you should by affinity.

we were never close. they lived real far. and communication was zilch.

my family all went. i stayed home. i had work later. and i needed the sleep. my excuse was, if i got up and trailed off to las pinas with them, i might get exhausted afterwards at work, and be the next lilly anne. who would want that.

they still dont know what the cause of death was.

**

on to happy thoughts.

back in the days when brownout was the IN thing, my family would always gather around a large candle and waste time playing rummy or solitaire or pusoy dos. those were also moments were we bonded. talked. and became a family.

i remembered having this conversation with my dad. i was convincing him that on my funeral, it should be on an open casket, and im laying there on my side, like in a fetal position, to make it look like im really sleeping. he kinda smiled. and said "can you research on that? if there's a law requiring corpses to lay on their backs when inside the coffin?"

i found nothing. even upto now. but i'd still want that.

another observation, is that i have never ever seen a good or decent looking dead body. they're all hideous. no matter what make up they're on. and this was one of the reasons why i wanna lay on the coffin and let people see half of my face. even in death, i'd still want to get a reaction from people. and i wish people would cry for me. and i hope they drink. and i wish they talk about how happy my life was. and how happy i made them. chos!

**

clarifications

am i manhid for not coming to lilly anne's funeral?! i hope not. there just some people you dont care about. no matter who much you try to convince yourself.

**

later at 9 pm. im going to quattro to celebrate life. kampai people! see y'all!

**

ps: i hope and pray and wish none of the people i care about and love the most, die ahead of me.

Masikip ang alen?

2004-04-15T17:04:00.000+08:00

for the first time. i woke up from a drinking night and remembered everything. though i did forget some little things

what i forgot

Booba 2's plot (what plot? meron ba?)

how i paid for my drinks

how the cable car night ended

the name of garppp's drink (may apoy apoy pang nalalaman. antaray!)

what happened in kirsh's bed. hehehehehe joke

why i ordered iced tea. (well i did kinda ordered it as a joke)

**

if not for marvs, a fourth fone must have lost. thank god for his good judgement. he let me stay at his place. i still keep forgetting if it was novaliches or navotas.

what we did

sneaked quietly into his room. who happens to be inhabited by around 30(exag) relatives as well. all sleeping quietly.

browsed through people's blog and see who among the booba contingenters posts the earliest.

got tech assistance for my blog.

found out he has such beautiful musical taste. david gray and maxwell. motherfucker! soul mate ko to. hehehehe

shared one bed. and slept like the drunken bastard that i am.

woke up and talked about sef. morning sex talk. well i did most of the talking. he did most of the cringing and laughing.

kissed him in the cheek. it was an act of gratitude. i was so thankful that morning that i woke up in one piece. money and fone on my pockets. super thanks man! mmmmwuah!

**

marvs warned me as i was going home that traffic was shitty. it was. but i love bus rides. it gives me time to think.

what i thought about

i have friends who love me. with the loss of the fone, i gained friendship.

people seem to care more.

recall from last night who the fuck i kissed in the lips (can anyone please comment on this)

videoke songs that played through my head.

plans on becoming less selfish. more giving. more of a brother to everyone.

**

i am now home.

2004-04-13T21:32:00.000+08:00

Tadaaaaaaaaaan!!!

wala lang. it took me an accumulated 4 hours to design this blog.
boring stuff really. i just find the chatterbox and haloscan function really, uhm, functional. so i decided to make a blog. excited!!!!!!

kumbaga new look, same content.
mga tungkol sa minor bitchin, bed, beer and whatever rocks my boat.

instead of boy kampai UA, gusto ko sana yung title Young, Dumb and full of Cum. kaya lang garapal at mali. hindi na ako young (well, young adult pwede) mejo dumb (dumbass that is) at full of cum (lahat naman a)

gusto ko rin sana yung all singing all dancing porkchop of the world. kaya lang copyright laws. baka mademanda ni garppp. hehehehehe. edi ayun. Boy kampai : utak alkohol na lang. yung orange PAO, the designs, the no-ads or pop ups : all accidental. hindi talaga ako magaling dito. hit and miss lang. trial and error.

tour!

to your left gentle.men, are pictures of me through the years. all in the presence of beer. lasenggo ampotah.

right in the middle. well, you're reading 'em. body of the blog. post. the soul. the very reason why you visited. to read what's happening.

to your right. some useless description. stuff you already know. and some words of wisdom. carry lang.

somewhere right at the bottom is the chatter box. please leave something, like how much you hate me. or how much i stink of chico. whatever. i need outputs. i love comments. sicophant ako! mejo. (sicophant ba?!)

to your top right. links to you my brodders. a liquor representing each of you guys. astig diba?! para akong si merlin tas kayo mga visionaries knights of the magical light. may pa representation-representation pa. ikaw si gilbeys kase ganto ganto, ikaw si mompo kasi alam mo nayun, ikaw si ganyan si ganto. etcetera. si nuck lang naiiba kasi pedialyte siya. dont ask me why i chose that drink for you. some are obvious some are wala lang. shempre si doc blowjob. drink na bagay sa kanya. mwehehehehehehe. si bunshoy kelan magkakablog! hinihintay ko na lang.

anyway. yun. just look around. enjoi! kampai!!