the boy with the most cake
boy kampai : utak alkohol

coming soon

things i would write about this week. and just so i wont forget

Texan Boy/Office Mate Jay and how i missed him
My Office Kampai Gurls and Tampon Talks (ganun pala yun)
Mala Telenobelang pagiibigang Steve and Amanda. (Te Amo, "Please, anything but my clit")
Ang pagtangkad ni Jayson. (sana may iba pang humaba sa kanya)
My motherfucking 5 digit salary ulit. (i wish i deserved this)
Ang Mamatay ng Dahil Sayote (makabayan, makagulay)
Shut Your Fucking Face Uncle Fucker. (ang natutulog na ulam)

and other ramblings.

for now matutulog na muna ako at maghahanda sa pagiinum mamaya.

haaaaaaaaaay. namiss ko ang beer.

kampai all y'all!!!


joss ko po!!!!!

co worker joenell warned me about it weeks ago.

joenell is this fat short and stocky little kid who used to be the odd man out when my batch started in c-cube. the group eased up to him and eventually became a pal. kupal that is. he does this random faux-capoeira dances, makes green jokes at whim, loves porn and is the only one who appreciates my kinda music in the office.

so anyway, he's actually one of the extra joss addicts in the office. and brags that it actually makes him thrice as horny.

i tried it myself last night. i needed to break my 500 peso bill. so i bought some candy, a pack of winston lights, spam-de-sal and 5 packets of extra joss at the 7-11 nearby.

of course i didnt believe him at first. and after that 5 packets. i have become a believer.

putang ina! right in the middle of the call, i was so wide awake. 5 times as randy and was doing my best to keep this one american caller from shutting up. he had this husky voice. like brad pitt's. by the bedside in a dim room. whispering nonsense.

our office has this red ergonomically designed chair whose back support kinda bends backwards.

so i was just laying comfortably there, my butt at the edge of the seat, my legs were stretched forwards and kinda bent, my nape was resting at the top of the back support. my eyes were closed, head facing the ceiling, and my fingers were clasped together right at the back of my head. the kind of sit you'd do when you're tired. but i wasnt. i was supremely horny.

in this position, while unattentively listening to brad pitt, i was fantasizing someone was sitting on me, facing me, legs apart, with his hands on my shoulders. his body leaning towards mine, as he readies himself for a kiss. and i. i just sat there. his master. not a care in the world. he is breathing heavily into my face, he smelled like orange and musk. as his head slowly goes down into my face. he didnt go for my lips, he went straight to my right collar bone, sometimes biting on the skin, sometimes licking on the bone, as his left ear was brushing up against my right cheek. his hands released my shoulders, slips its way into the small of my back, while his lips slowly travelled from my neck, to my stubbled jaws, to my cheek and finally. it locked with mine.

only then, did i realize that i've already sported a boner. i lazily grabbed one of the mini pillows lying around, covered my crotch with it. and resumed with the office fantasy.

he then pulled away. and played the staring game, while his four fingers started slipping themselves into the waist of my pants, the thumb pressing and twisting only to unbutton me.

and like cat claws on a chalkboard, fucker joenell, shrieked, "Dude! yung handling time mo?! 15 minutes ka na jan!!"

that motherfucker!!

(bukas ulit)


i just realized that when i write, i dont know how and when to use a comma or a period.


this guy Moe, from the office, i swear to god, is so into me.


for two straight days, i went home with a guy. (hehehehehehe its not what you think) there's this guy kervin, who has a car, who happens to drive by my route and who happens to have the same schedule as mine, offers me a ride. shotgun!!!


he has a twin by the way. karlo. they dont look alike. and he went to grade school with my brother in lsgh. they met again in friendster. small fucking world.


in the car, i couldnt help but reminisce (eto na naman ako) how i used to ride shotgun with sef. and how we played nothing but wave 89.1 when we're together. save for some instances when i press "6" for NU107. or "5" for K-lite on his FM preset stations. haaaaaaaay.


my three straight buddies actually met one of the odders a few weeks ago. chino, one of them, then texted me just this second. "duuuuude! kamusta na kayu ng fafa mu?" that fucker. i replied with "eto nagkakalat paren sa bed" i'm still waiting for a reply.


morning after

i was telling papu that mornings after i drink, i get this weird "sad-depressed-kinda off-empty" feeling. it makes me reminisce.

think about people i loved. like really really fall head over heels. and people who broke me.

yup, i realized, he really did break me. but i only think about this on morning afters.

soon enough. i'll be back to reality. but right now, let me relish at this feeling.


i wish i were washing his hair. softly. while he's lying comfortably. smiling at me. and im smiling at him back. all to the tune of Aaron Neville's Crazy Love.

it was a crazy love.


im always worried i'm going to forget his face. it's starting to happen. i dont even remember where the scar on his eyebrows is exactly.


or how his hands crawl up to mine. when we're watching Scooby Doo, Minority Report, Life Or Something Like It, Finding Nemo and many other movies that i will try to recall. and when he hears "i love you" said onscreen, he'd squeeze my hand.


or how, after one drunken night, we got to my place, sneaked into the living room. to our left was the door to my sister's room, to our right was my parent's room, and right beside us was the stairs to the kitchen. but i didnt care. i just screwed him right there on the living room floor. mahuli na kung mahuli.


or how when he's driving. on our way to fetch something, i'd slide up to his right ear and whisper sweetnothings. like "i'm gonna fuck you later" or "san mo gusto?" to which he'd reply with a boner.


i miss that motherfucker.


Good Morning Post

last night's contingent. uber fun.

got home and remembered everything. nothing missing. and was conscious enough to plan to buy m2m porn by the streets of aurora. backed out. and went home sad. hehehehe

people who did not come. mga supooot!!! :D

met tennister for the first time. he looks like bam aquino. ow-som singer. very turned on. minor crush will eventually die out in seconds. 4..3..2..1...

which odder have i not met yet. still finding this out.

gb3. place very confusing. spent minutes looking for food choices.

trailed off to cable car. waited a few minutes for a table. and checked out cable car imports.

place swarming with young foreigners. all drinking beer. or kahlua. isnt there a law for minors drinking?

hogged three tables for around 13 odders. ordered san mig draft. and drinking spree commenced.

kept wishing garpp would show up. contingent kinda empty without "leader". found out he was marching that night. cursed him in my head for not inviting us.

sandwiched by stolich and mrav. very disconcerting. very warm. much appreciated. nice to know people like me for who i am.

san mig draft. my new favorite. though i have sneaking suspicion i might not order this again. makes me smell like chico. unlike san mig light.

asked d_alchemist a question about stolich. to which he replied, "i have heard this before" i laughed like a hyenna. and i took back the question.

sang a sex bomb girls and beyonce song. girl at next table. very much amused by odders.

fyro's departure kinda saddening. broke my heart to watch kirsh and him hug. but kept thinking it was for the better. felt so bad i needed the hug myself. hihi. fuck. dont we all just hate goodbyes. but was later on assured it wasnt permanent

3 odders set on bEd visit. 7 went. have very strong convincing skills. might be a salesman one day.

7 odders cramped in one taxi. very kinky. very much aware of each others breath and stink. though none did stink. but me. chico flavored. kept hoping no one complains.

got to bEd mildly drunk. drunk enough to plan on kissing babyface bouncer. though not drunk enough to actually do so. (damn that san mig draft)

bEd music, very high-inducing. found out how much i have missed bed as soon as music flooded ear lobes. people were so much more good looking than i remembered. though i was much more aware than odder company than bEd goers.

moony's song dove, makes me reminisce. song was played, and had to grab kirsh and dance with him. something about the song that makes me want to share this one dance with him. hope none of the odders mistake this for, uhm, something else.

odder's concern, very heartwarming. all night, odders kept reassuring that i was okay. how very brotherly. thank god for them.

saw joma again after a long time. grade school friend. he lent me a shredder action figure then. he gave me a warm hug that night. and comments crassly about grade school teacher Mr. Avecilla.

Mr. Avecilla used to be so hot. wonder how he looks like today. i bet he's gay.

held hands with liquid_dreamer while squeezing our way into the men's room. saw Jaya (yes the singer) by the corner and told LD "watch this" as i walked up in front of jaya, kissed her cheeks said, "i love you" and just walked away like nothing happened. celebrities can be so full of themselves and their fame that they'll let that one act go. LD actually thanked me. i still dont know why.

kept wishing stolich would reconsider and make an appearance. tsk. bEd kinda sad without diva in the house.

watched in shock, amazement and amusement as one odder was locking lips and swapping spit with stranger bald guy. will not mention who. heheheheh. that fucker! :D

hated him afterwards. but only one fourth meant. still love the guy. he deserved that action. hehehehe.

dissappointed that i cant think of anything else to post. may remember more stuff soon and post randomly.

very much thankful i got home safe

you guys are the best.


boy kampai and relationship hell 101

hellboy is so gay themed.
1. rupert evans looks like a belami star. he was so pretty i cant look at him.
2. the hospital was named Bellamie
3. one of the fight scenes was at a subway station. the station was Palmer.
4. hellboy, muscular and all red. /me then starts to stretch and lean back. hehehehehehehe
5. hellboy's capture scene, kinda S&M
6. hellboy and father figure, kinda deep and touching. what every gay guy needs
7. evil monster in the end, kindofa phallic symbol.
8. lotsa references to two eggs.
9. sucking on a fat tobacco, real turn on.
10. assassin's complicated face mask and head gear. also phallic-ish


i had a talk with a friend about relationship. boring stuff really.
it went something like:

with a normal straight typical relationship, it's the female that does the nagging, the guy doing all the "bawal ka dito" "hindi pwede" "bat di ka nagpaalam" "san ka nagpunta" overprotective etceteras (yeah girls also do this but it's the guys' that counts and actually becomes a big deal)

so what about two guys?

some guys just dont get it that there are two men in a gay relationship. walang girl, walang quote unquote inaalagaan at binebeybi. you "should" love him how you would love a guy. he's a guy! he can take care of himself. so in other words...


i suddenly have no urge to go to bEd. antok lang sana to.


i was talking to amanda. office friend. kinda my faghag. i told her "parang gusto ko magka boyfriend. na hindi. na ewan" i like the way this woman thinks. she replies with "are you ready?" loooong pause. "but then again, are we ever really ready?"

i'm not ready. or i dont know. or i dont want to find out. or i think i dont want to find out. deep inside. somehow. im just waiting for the right guy to emerge from a pool of blood (hellboy reeference). and wink at me.

i'm probbly just like paldeng. i dont do relationships. (or i THINK i dont) whatever

amanda by the was has this long distance thing going on. they were talking on the phone about missing each other and the guy actually said "i'm shelling out two thousand dollars just to see you again and fuck you."

awwwwwwww. how sweet. <-she actually said this too


beegee on the other hand, another female co worker, comes up to me. and in this pacute sad baby voice says "Paaaaao, Sad akoooo!" "bat naman?" "parang sawa na ako" i laughed

she's in a 2 year relationship. also with a guy named pao. (all the paos in the world have all the worst luck)

knowing beegee. i encouraged her to think things through. sure you'll feel that. i said. you just have to kinda remember what made you fall in love with him. do something new. pa spa kayo sabay. spice things up. you're only saying that.

one day she'll sit in one dark corner. smile and just realize what she really wants.


i, myself, have never ever seen a perfect couple. what, then, is my idea of a perfect christmas, este couple.

*bagay sila or everyone says, "alam mo bagay kayo" with a smile. as in everyone.
*they're really into each other
*parehong trip. but not all.
*kung mag away, bati agad, waitaminnit. my idea of a perfect couple, are those people who know each other so much, that none of them will actually come near a fight, because they understand each other. the only reason, i think, couples fight, because they dont understand each other. so
*they're really good friends. like, they finish each other's sentences. can fart in front of each other and laugh after. brush with the same toothbrush. accept each other's 'toyo'. i'm starting to realize that i'm thinking about my straight friends while writing this.
*sex life is animal. sensual. exciting. always experimental. raw.
*forever in the "honeymoon stage"
*rational. practical. and the reason why they are a couple is because they make sense together, apart, and to each other. but they dont know it.
*they never get tired of each other.
*ewan, basta, it's really hard to explain. mahirap ngang mangkahon ng bagay or idealism.

(this deserves a different post of its own. for now, that's all i could think of)

in other words, i'll never find the perfect couple.


doctor! i need a physical.

there's something about medicine that i cant quite figure out. it used to be that when i get sick, i'd sleep it off. come morning, i'm better. i never trusted medicine. it's so "fake" and unfair. i still believe in the fact that 90% of all medicine in the world is placebo. that people will heal themselves if they believe.

until last night. when i had too much acid in me belly. clinic doctor, kinda cute, said i needed simeco. it fucking worked.

moments later. i had muscle pains. para akong tatrangkasuhin. so i visited the clinic again. and complained "muscle pains" he then replies with "why? do you work out?" with a smile. ang mga doctor nga talaga o.


during my yosi break, a friend, arcy, invited me for Hellboy. ako naman tong si "namimiss ang straight-buddies", umoo. knowing i had work by ten pm. so we agreed that by 6 pm kami manonood. by 10 im off to work. at dahil minsan, gusto ko rin mang asar, i planned on bringing a guy along. hehehehehehe. the last guy they've seen me with was b00-beaR. the ex. let's see what happens.


by 7am today. i was out. muscle man paldeng texted me if i were free for breakfast. said yes, and trailed off to mcdo. we talked about the usual stuff. work, sex-life, odders, quattro night. he was wearing this neatly pressed green long sleeved polo. tucked in a very snappy black pants. he looked good for someone who had been in the office for 5 straight hours before his first one-hour breakfast. i felt and looked silly around him bringing a sling bag along, with a yellow duck stuffed toy barely fitting my bag. he laughed at it. (the duck was an office prize for people who had work on holy week) made me realize that i will never grow up. i'm peter pan.


he was telling me stories about boners, wet undies, sauna and fitness first. i almost came in my pants.


i gotta catch some sleep now. hellboy ito!!!


and to stolich. wala lang. mahal na kita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heheeheheh



while eating Nissin YakiSoba Spicy Chicken with hard boiled egg, i recalled the nights that were.

Sunday night. an odder texted me that he wanted to go out. by then i was already headed for work. i was right there in libis when i got the message and as soon as i got it, i was already cooking up reasons for not going to work. i wanted to be with the guy. it seemed he needed the company.

i ended up cancelling it. i had withdrawn all my money from the atm, stored it somewhere in my baul, and had brought only 300 bux. i wouldve gone. i wouldve missed work for him. sayang.

Monday night. i was home getting ready for work. when anodder brodder texted me. he needs to go out and drink. i said i had work by 10 pm. but i was willing not to go to work to be with this guy. i called the office and cooked up a near-the-truth lie. something about someone dying. hihihihi. evil man.

in the end, he cancelled it due to relationship complications. i was cool with it, i can always cook up a follow up lie at work. i went to work and all is well.

two missed drinking nights. damn!

moral lessons i will SO miss work for beer. and a chance to be with good company. kampai you guys! you know who you are.

and this goes out to all of you. if you need anything... money, beer, company, doobie(kidding), tubero, minor pc troubleshooting, taga buhat, movie recommendations, load, date(i have contacts), escort, m2m porn. as in kahit ano, meron ako, or gagawan natin ng paraan. kampai!!

all you have to do is call, and i'll be there. you've got efren



Master Vision

i have this weird way of jerkin off. wherein i can get off on so little jerking movements. like im not even doing it at all. i just twist my fingers in such a way that there's this pressure on one spot, i think of someone (or many many someones) and i just get off in 5 seconds flat.

i can do it with my shorts on. with people around. even in the office (at one point) and no one would know. (i could even be doing it right now as i write this)

this morning, i released myself of some protein. there were too much. too much that i looked like i peed myself. a bad sign that i'm not getting any lately. haaaay buhay.

** (one weird segue comin' up)

Marvin and Topz (a reply to ov3rboard's "Missed" post)

truth be told, marvs and topz are few of the people that i really really look forwad to when someone mentions an Odders Contingent (wag sana magselos ang doc) when i heard from someone they wont be coming, i did kinda get a tad dissappointed. (just a tad, everyone else's appearance plus the macho mug made it all better)

so i asked someone else. one didnt know. i asked another. said they wont make it. i asked another. and said they were somewhere else. i was asking almost everyone hoping to find a different answer. one mentions "Topz" or "Marvin" and i immediately butt in. "Ano, any word from them? Makakasunod ba?" naaaaaah.

topz then said he wont be coming. marvs was nowhere to be found. and no way to be contacted. but topz texted that he was talking to him.

and yeah, i did miss them. i cant and wont explain why i like them as a couple. but i do like them as one. and as i said before. couple or not, i wish them only happiness. and bliss. if you could only see these two kiss each other, ikwento ba daw???!?? even in the corner of my eye, i could see so much love (and monstrosity hehehehehehehe) mga ani-mahl!!!! hahahahahahahhaahhahah

random memory. cable car night. i think me and marvin walked topz to his office. while strolling along the dimly lit makati streets, lil kid marvin snatched a stray flower by the curbs and gave them to topz. awwwwwwwwwwwww...... even as i was completely inebriated, it melted me. seriously. that memory will always stay locked up here inside my heart. you guys!



and who cant forget ravvie. him and his sapa girls stint. as i headed to the office, all i could think of was our mini conversations about rodel. (i still cant remember if it was rodel or roden) and bald guys. his kuskos, piga, sampay dramatizations. his smile. his outrageous libido that is somehow reflecting mine. (somehow) and his "selos" effect with me and my fixation for the aforementioned Close-Up couple of the moment. i could also remember how i was teasing him that i have completely no recollection of that kissing episode, Cable Car night. and that i was willing to remember it again. heheheheheheh. i miss this guy badly. mahal ko nga siya talaga!


Margarita and Macho Mug

the night was flowing with macho mugs and margarita glasses. everyone was drinking, save for one who actually ordered ?ice cream? (ice cream? in a bar?) or was it halu halo?! pj, in the morning texted me he had menstrual cramps.

see?! thats what you get for not ordering beer, on a beer night! silly duck! :D

speaking of margarita, did you see paul's buddy?

he sat right next to me, so friendly little me stirred up a conversation. i kinda asked who he was with, and if he was friends with paul. the boy gave me this stunned look, stood up, whispered to paul, came back to his seat and said "Yeah, he's my buddy!" hahahhahahahahahahahahah!!! how cute is that!!! how naively cute!!!!! but yeah, i guess he was just playing safe. in my head i was thinking about what he asked paul (knowing paul). and i came up with "Paul? Tayo ba?!" hhahahhaahhahahahahahaahhahahaah!!!!!!!



carlo arrived with guests. one i like (along with everyone else, i think) one that doc likes (who looks like sherwin ordonez) and one that we all wished did not come (kidding)

they settled on the table right next to us. and althroughout the night, i swear to God, and Paul's margarita, that lil bald guy roden was playing the flirting game with me. there was this smouldering stare kinda look. it made me queasy. (and kilig, haba ng hair kong maiksi) and it made me uncomfy knowing this guy has a boyfriend of 1 year and 1 month and this guy's buddy is mango's best friend. i dont want to pull a "marvin" on him. not my style. heheheheheehehheheh.

but then again, i could all be just imagining this. i had one red horse macho mug. forget i wrote this. hehehehehe. kampai Marvin!! kampai Mrav!! kampai Mango! and Kampai to Masturbation!!!!! friday naman ulet! hehehehehe


life and death and beer

lilly Anne is my dad's granddaughter from a previous marriage. lilly anne had a twin sister Carrie Anne. they dont look alike. and they were kinda my age. mid twenty's siguro. i forget.

i just heard today that she died. and it disturbs me, that i felt nothing.

maybe there are just things that you get over easily. maybe there aare things you just dont care about. no matter if you should. or you think you should by affinity.

we were never close. they lived real far. and communication was zilch.

my family all went. i stayed home. i had work later. and i needed the sleep. my excuse was, if i got up and trailed off to las pinas with them, i might get exhausted afterwards at work, and be the next lilly anne. who would want that.

they still dont know what the cause of death was.


on to happy thoughts.

back in the days when brownout was the IN thing, my family would always gather around a large candle and waste time playing rummy or solitaire or pusoy dos. those were also moments were we bonded. talked. and became a family.

i remembered having this conversation with my dad. i was convincing him that on my funeral, it should be on an open casket, and im laying there on my side, like in a fetal position, to make it look like im really sleeping. he kinda smiled. and said "can you research on that? if there's a law requiring corpses to lay on their backs when inside the coffin?"

i found nothing. even upto now. but i'd still want that.

another observation, is that i have never ever seen a good or decent looking dead body. they're all hideous. no matter what make up they're on. and this was one of the reasons why i wanna lay on the coffin and let people see half of my face. even in death, i'd still want to get a reaction from people. and i wish people would cry for me. and i hope they drink. and i wish they talk about how happy my life was. and how happy i made them. chos!



am i manhid for not coming to lilly anne's funeral?! i hope not. there just some people you dont care about. no matter who much you try to convince yourself.


later at 9 pm. im going to quattro to celebrate life. kampai people! see y'all!


ps: i hope and pray and wish none of the people i care about and love the most, die ahead of me.


Masikip ang alen?

for the first time. i woke up from a drinking night and remembered everything. though i did forget some little things

what i forgot

Booba 2's plot (what plot? meron ba?)

how i paid for my drinks

how the cable car night ended

the name of garppp's drink (may apoy apoy pang nalalaman. antaray!)

what happened in kirsh's bed. hehehehehe joke

why i ordered iced tea. (well i did kinda ordered it as a joke)


if not for marvs, a fourth fone must have lost. thank god for his good judgement. he let me stay at his place. i still keep forgetting if it was novaliches or navotas.

what we did

sneaked quietly into his room. who happens to be inhabited by around 30(exag) relatives as well. all sleeping quietly.

browsed through people's blog and see who among the booba contingenters posts the earliest.

got tech assistance for my blog.

found out he has such beautiful musical taste. david gray and maxwell. motherfucker! soul mate ko to. hehehehe

shared one bed. and slept like the drunken bastard that i am.

woke up and talked about sef. morning sex talk. well i did most of the talking. he did most of the cringing and laughing.

kissed him in the cheek. it was an act of gratitude. i was so thankful that morning that i woke up in one piece. money and fone on my pockets. super thanks man! mmmmwuah!


marvs warned me as i was going home that traffic was shitty. it was. but i love bus rides. it gives me time to think.

what i thought about

i have friends who love me. with the loss of the fone, i gained friendship.

people seem to care more.

recall from last night who the fuck i kissed in the lips (can anyone please comment on this)

videoke songs that played through my head.

plans on becoming less selfish. more giving. more of a brother to everyone.


i am now home.



wala lang. it took me an accumulated 4 hours to design this blog.
boring stuff really. i just find the chatterbox and haloscan function really, uhm, functional. so i decided to make a blog. excited!!!!!!

kumbaga new look, same content.
mga tungkol sa minor bitchin, bed, beer and whatever rocks my boat.

instead of boy kampai UA, gusto ko sana yung title Young, Dumb and full of Cum. kaya lang garapal at mali. hindi na ako young (well, young adult pwede) mejo dumb (dumbass that is) at full of cum (lahat naman a)

gusto ko rin sana yung all singing all dancing porkchop of the world. kaya lang copyright laws. baka mademanda ni garppp. hehehehehe. edi ayun. Boy kampai : utak alkohol na lang. yung orange PAO, the designs, the no-ads or pop ups : all accidental. hindi talaga ako magaling dito. hit and miss lang. trial and error.


to your left, are pictures of me through the years. all in the presence of beer. lasenggo ampotah.

right in the middle. well, you're reading 'em. body of the blog. post. the soul. the very reason why you visited. to read what's happening.

to your right. some useless description. stuff you already know. and some words of wisdom. carry lang.

somewhere right at the bottom is the chatter box. please leave something, like how much you hate me. or how much i stink of chico. whatever. i need outputs. i love comments. sicophant ako! mejo. (sicophant ba?!)

to your top right. links to you my brodders. a liquor representing each of you guys. astig diba?! para akong si merlin tas kayo mga visionaries knights of the magical light. may pa representation-representation pa. ikaw si gilbeys kase ganto ganto, ikaw si mompo kasi alam mo nayun, ikaw si ganyan si ganto. etcetera. si nuck lang naiiba kasi pedialyte siya. dont ask me why i chose that drink for you. some are obvious some are wala lang. shempre si doc blowjob. drink na bagay sa kanya. mwehehehehehehe. si bunshoy kelan magkakablog! hinihintay ko na lang.

anyway. yun. just look around. enjoi! kampai!!

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